|
 Menu
|
|
|
|
|
Social
|
|
|
|
|
Dance Alone
Contributed by
evilfairy
on
Wednesday, 2nd June 2004 @ 01:24:41 AM in AEST
Topic:
LovePoetry
|
The night is chilled, the snow is falling
But it does not matter, tho the cold is gnawing.
Cold air on my skin but I do not go in
Because you do something that heats me from within.
A simple dance right there upon the steps
Closely you hold me pressed to your chest.
Safe and secure, and I feel so warm
Because somehow you have made me transform.
Of all else around me I cease to be aware
To take my eyes from you I just do not dare.
Tonight it is perfect, and I am filled with this wonder
Because under your spell I have fallen under.
So long to have waited and now broken free
From the fears that bound me, from them I flee.
And now so exquisite, this feeling so whole
Because deep inside me something touches my soul.
Tonight should last forever, but it will come to its end
With things still unspoken it is easy to pretend.
A quick laugh then I sigh, and we glance away
Because neither is sure what it is we should say.
And then it is over and we break apart
So it is finished for the most part.
If I dance again it will be on my own
Dancing alone toward the unknown.
MW
Copyright ©
evilfairy
... [
2004-06-02 01:24:41]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
Advertisments:
|
|
|
|
|
|
Sorry, comments are no longer allowed for anonymous, please register for a free membership to access this feature and more
|
|
All comments are owned by the poster. Your Poetry
Dot Com is not responsible for the content of any
comment.
That said, if you find an offensive comment, please
contact via the FeedBack Form with details, including poem title
etc.
|
|
|
Re: Dance Alone
(User Rating: 1 )
by inertia on
Wednesday, 2nd June 2004 @ 01:35:59 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| good imagery...you were discipline in your mold...i think tthat's very difficult, but you pulled it off...nice work...peace |
|
|
Re: Dance Alone
(User Rating: 1 )
by holderofthestone on
Wednesday, 2nd June 2004 @ 02:05:09 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| Another great write. very fluid and well felt. |
|
|
Re: Dance Alone
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on
Wednesday, 2nd June 2004 @ 02:08:58 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Vivid and sensitively portrayed. Well done!
Andrew |
|
|
Re: Dance Alone
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 2nd June 2004 @ 07:35:45 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
I'm not really sure what to make of the message, or end of this work. Sure, it's well-rhymed, rhythmic and vivid, but I don't understand why you didn't continue with the idyllic scenery you had led me into.
The line
"Because neither is sure what it is we should say. "
Infers to me that the moment was more an immediate experience, and not one projected over a period of say, a prolonged relationship (which would have made more sense with the ending you gave, in my eyes).
But anyway - it obviously means something to you - and that's what matters at the end of the day.
Promising write.
Keep writing. |
|
|
Re: Dance Alone
(User Rating: 1 )
by evilfairy on
Thursday, 3rd June 2004 @ 08:26:20 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Hi neptune. You're right - this poem is about a moment, not about a relationship.
It's about taking a chance for a second, but still being too scared to follow it thru. |
|
|
|
· 
Poetry
Community
Members
Areas
Reference
Search
Top
Others
