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DRY
Contributed by
rhei76
on
Sunday, 30th May 2004 @ 12:00:26 PM in AEST
Topic:
SadPoetry
|
I wanna cry
But my tears are dry
I wanna give up
But my heart still pumps
If I could only know why
My tears are dry
I purposally sabitog my way
Like misery has a hand on me
I smile in the face of certain death
But then pout
When I'm left to rest
Thru another sleep
With another breath
When my tears are dry
I wish I could cry
I wish I could cry
I wish I could cry
But my tears are dry
Copyright ©
rhei76
... [
2004-05-30 12:00:26]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: DRY
(User Rating: 1 )
by deathdrop on
Sunday, 30th May 2004 @ 12:59:11 PM AEST
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a Message)
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this is sad!
i can relate with this one.
some times it is just impossible to cry. its horrid, i know because you feel like you are going to burst but you can let t out!
i know how you feel.
you expressd your-self brilliantly in this!! |
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Re: DRY
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 30th May 2004 @ 01:47:13 PM AEST
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| Cleanly, simply-worded emotion. This poem very sucessfully conveyed the pain the author has felt. Very nice work. |
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Re: DRY
(User Rating: 1 )
by bttrflynajar on
Sunday, 30th May 2004 @ 10:42:55 PM AEST
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love it, so much emotion. keep it up, and may i suggest publishing?
~bttrFlY~ |
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Re: DRY
(User Rating: 1 )
by NDean on
Wednesday, 25th July 2007 @ 12:15:19 AM AEST
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I like this poem. I think you project your emotion well in it.
However I only have 2 concerns:
1) I personally prefer proper spelling i.e not thru. It diminishes a poem that does not need it. It is a good read and thus using these incorrect spellings seems wrong.
2) I feel the emotion in the poem but I feel you could put it up one more level. I dont know how but I felt like I missed out on something more.
Sorry, I feel its better to be honest. :D
Carry on. This is really good.
Nathan |
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