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This Life
Contributed by
dirtyfool
on
Friday, 28th May 2004 @ 04:52:05 PM in AEST
Topic:
Suicide
|
I don't see the point of going on
When I wish I was gone
I am alive
When I wish to be dead
These thought forever in my head
My will to be here
Is just not there
This life is torture
This life is pain
This life is pointless
This knife is sharp
This wrist is cut
This life is done
Copyright ©
dirtyfool
... [
2004-05-28 16:52:05] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: This Life
(User Rating: 1 ) by full_blur on
Friday, 28th May 2004 @ 05:11:59 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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I like the way you express dark emotions in an almost mantra-like manner. It gives your words a dark aura and makes it creepy and cool! |
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Re: This Life
(User Rating: 1 ) by CeruleanScreams on
Friday, 28th May 2004 @ 05:51:37 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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I can relate to the weariness of life, and the cutting... I really like the rhythm of the piece, it gives it a driving force. The thing I would try to improve is to put more raw emotion into it, cuz I know when I'm cutting its just this whirlwind of feelings-- try to put that to words. Good write. |
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Re: This Life
(User Rating: 1 ) by Luinil on
Friday, 28th May 2004 @ 06:32:14 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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i really like the rhythm at the end of your poem... good job |
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Re: This Life
(User Rating: 1 ) by BRIDGI on
Sunday, 26th February 2006 @ 06:41:28 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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do you realy want ti kill yourself? whatever just dont besides that i love the poem. |
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