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Guilt

Contributed by darien on Friday, 28th May 2004 @ 08:11:23 AM in AEST
Topic: EmotionalPoetry



When silent
Safe I find myself
Until I look inside

And question
Common moral grounds
And truths that I denied

That sorrow
Breeds a tear or two
Betraying what I feel

Onlookers
Gasping, each in turn
Against their hearts of steel



Copyright © darien ... [ 2004-05-28 08:11:23]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: Guilt (User Rating: 1 )
by Silent-No-More on Friday, 28th May 2004 @ 11:10:33 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
Ok... per your note... I'll give it a shot, how about:

Onlookers
Gasping, each in turn
Blessed with hearts of steel

I thought it "explains" why the onlookers were gasping.... Hope you don't mind the suggestion. I do like this a lot and absolutely get where you're coming from! Nicely done!




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