|
Menu
|
|
|
Social
|
|
|
|
Things come and go
Contributed by
Ashaliyah
on
Thursday, 27th May 2004 @ 03:27:31 PM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
The hummingbirds sing
All through spring
The snow always falls
To cover the walls
The leaves always fall
So tiny and small
The sun's always out
During summer to make you shout
Things come and go
Sometimes you just don't know
People always leave
Only to deceive
You're always there
Never in despair
Copyright ©
Ashaliyah
... [
2004-05-27 15:27:31] (Date/Time posted on
site)
Advertisments:
|
|
|
|
|
Sorry, comments are no longer allowed for anonymous, please register for a free membership to access this feature and more
|
|
All comments are owned by the poster. Your Poetry
Dot Com is not responsible for the content of any
comment. That said, if you find an offensive comment, please
contact via the FeedBack Form with details, including poem title
etc.
|
|
|
Re: Things come and go
(User Rating: 1 ) by Cole on
Saturday, 19th June 2004 @ 08:36:15 PM AEST (User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Please read the following with the mindset that I am critiquing and not criticizing. It's not my intent to upset you or to put down your poetry.
Okay, the point of poetry is not to rhyme. Sometimes rhymes will give a fluid rhythmn to a poem, but in this case, it does not add to the poem. Also, these rhymes are pretty elementary. I'm not sure how old you are, but if you're out of elementary school, you should be able to do better than this.
Yeah, that's about it. I'm sorry if I upset you, but ask anyone else, and most would say the same thing, they might just be too scared to admit it.
-Cole-
P.S. - I'd appreciate it if you looked at one of my poems in return. Well-Paved Evil is the only one I have that rhymes if you want to look at that one.
P.P.S. - Sorry again if I offended or upset you. That was not my intention. |
|
|
|