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My Own Relief
Contributed by
Tinkkerbelle
on
Thursday, 27th May 2004 @ 03:24:06 PM in AEST
Topic:
selfstruggles
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I have my own way of dealing with things,
My own relief.
Most people don't approve though.
I get so stressed out,
So angry,
So depressed.
I feel like people expect so much from me.
And that I have to meet everyone's expectations.
But I can't always do it, I need a break too.
All kinds of emotions I keep bottled up inside.
They keep accumulating until I need to find some kind of relief.
So I get my relief.
Safety pins, razors, scissors, whatever.
I'll take anything I can find.
As long as it hurts, draws blood, and leaves a mark.
I did it once just to try it.
I thought I'd never do it again.
But I did, it helped.
I started on my arm,
Four x's with a safety pin,
And a slash with a razor blade.
It hurt.
It drew blood.
It left marks.
That's all I wanted,
A way to relieve myself of these emotions,
A reminder that I could make myself feel better.
But my arms are too noticeable,
The marks are still there.
I fear they may scar.
People noticed and they questioned me.
So I lied,
Anything I could think of.
I got the impulse again.
But it couldn't be my arms, I had learned.
So I sliced my ankles.
I just took a razor blade and sliced.
It hurt and it bled a lot.
More than I thought it would.
Eventually it stopped though.
I bandaged it for a day because it hurt so much.
Those marks are still there too.
I'm going to do it again.
I want to.
I have to.
I can feel the emotions accumulating.
It will come to be too much.
And I can't take it.
My arms are too noticeable,
My ankles still scabbed.
I think next time it'll be my leg.
I have my own way of dealing.
It works very well for me.
I'm not going to stop until I want to, and no one can make me.
MW 2001
Copyright ©
Tinkkerbelle
... [
2004-05-27 15:24:06] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: My Own Relief
(User Rating: 1 ) by pixie on
Thursday, 27th May 2004 @ 03:39:09 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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I'm really sorry for your pain, I can relate to this, although I have stopped doing it now..... I thought the poem was very good,very honest, full of feeling and you expressed the need to self harm with great ease.
Great poem,
pixie xx |
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Re: My Own Relief
(User Rating: 1 ) by arden on
Thursday, 27th May 2004 @ 08:38:50 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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this was really good.
filled with dark emotion. i can relate to this.
wonderfully done. a very well written poem.
keep it up.
Arden |
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Re: My Own Relief
(User Rating: 1 ) by bttrflynajar on
Friday, 28th May 2004 @ 11:17:48 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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you cut as well, im very sorry, i hope things get better for you one day. |
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