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Story Of Jake
Contributed by
Cursed_Witch
on
Monday, 24th May 2004 @ 06:15:16 PM in AEST
Topic:
selfstruggles
|
My name is Jake
Today I'm down by the lake
I have nothing left to make
Of this life that's fake
Bitten by a snake
My life is at stake
Oh God, I ask of u my pain to take
And from this nightmare to wake
For my soul's sake
Give me a break
Or simply, my body, undertake
Copyright ©
Cursed_Witch
... [
2004-05-24 18:15:16]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Story Of Jake
(User Rating: 1 )
by Silent-No-More on
Monday, 24th May 2004 @ 06:36:51 PM AEST
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a Message)
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I actually counted the lines to tell how many times your rhymed the same sound (and you say you are not good at it!) I don't think I could have come up with that many - nor been able to put them together so neatly. I'm not entirely sure the last line works... maybe it's just me - but the rest makes sense.
Thanks for sharing this. |
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Re: Story Of Jake
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Monday, 24th May 2004 @ 06:48:44 PM AEST
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a Message)
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oh this is cute!! hugs n' love nessa
@->>->:-
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Re: Story Of Jake
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Monday, 24th May 2004 @ 07:33:57 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Very good! U did a great job at this.
luv, huggs,
emy |
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Re: Story Of Jake
(User Rating: 1 )
by RavishingRoses14 on
Monday, 24th May 2004 @ 08:17:07 PM AEST
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| That was sooo cute. I couldn't have thought of so many rhyming words. Loved it. |
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Re: Story Of Jake
(User Rating: 1 )
by saphfyre on
Saturday, 25th November 2006 @ 06:39:52 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| very cool and funny, and still with a bit of a dark underpinning. I love it... this one makes me smile a lot, and yes, I love how many rhyming words you came up with to still convey the meaning... silly and funny, and slightly dark at the same time.... and btw, I see you got to use the word "snake".. ;) |
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