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Beside the Seas
Contributed by
wachumiri
on
Monday, 24th May 2004 @ 04:13:03 PM in AEST
Topic:
LovePoetry
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As we walked
Hand in hand
Along the beach
Upon the sand
I saw the sun
The breeze the sea
The moon and stars
Watch over me
They wanted me
To feel at ease
While with my love
Beside the seas
The sun then set
On distant shore
And it did shine
Like ne'er before
The sun-beam shone
It's last light fair
And glistened in
My lover's hair
The wonders of
This awesome sight
The gleamed and glistened
Through the night
They were like threads
Knit into place
For moon to shine
And light her face
The world conspires
When love's at stake
And lights the path
That we must take
Copyright ©
wachumiri
... [
2004-05-24 16:13:03] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Beside the Seas
(User Rating: 1 ) by Wachumiri on
Monday, 24th May 2004 @ 04:14:16 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Yes, I know. A better title is needed. Sorry about that.
Take care all.
David |
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Re: Beside the Seas
(User Rating: 1 ) by eatfresh22 on
Monday, 24th May 2004 @ 04:28:13 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Ahhh...the poem makes up for lack of sophisticated title, though, David. Really beautiful David, now that you finally posted it. I love the imagery...and I'll continue to enjoy it as I reread it every day.
Love ya,
~Carrie~ |
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Re: Beside the Seas
(User Rating: 1 ) by ladyfawn on
Monday, 24th May 2004 @ 05:17:53 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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this is very beautiful, david, and i saw your comment about the title, actually i wanted to read this because you wrote it and your poetrys wonderful, but it was the title i loved first, its lovely, this poem is so filled with calming vivid images, i can almost hear the waves coming to shore, makes me want to visit the ocean:) hugs n' love nessa
@->>->:- |
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Re: Beside the Seas
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Monday, 24th May 2004 @ 06:27:16 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Short, sweet and romantic. Wonderful write.
Lovewriter |
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Re: Beside the Seas
(User Rating: 1 ) by Fionndruinne on
Monday, 24th May 2004 @ 06:31:37 PM AEST (User
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Dear me... quite a plagiarism of the philosopher Coelho with that last line. But then, something of his is always welcome.
well done! Your rhyme and rhythm is constantly improving.
Keep it up, and hang in there, old chap.
Andrew |
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Re: Beside the Seas
(User Rating: 1 ) by Archie on
Thursday, 27th May 2004 @ 03:49:58 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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No David, I think your title is perfect, you describe your feelings and your love for your girlfriend perfectly. I like this poem a lot |
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Re: Beside the Seas
(User Rating: 1 ) by liquidsunshine on
Tuesday, 8th June 2004 @ 08:40:16 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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I love the flowing rhythm of this pretty little rhyme. It's wonderful. I also love the imagery.
Bravo and encore!!!
Lots of love and peace be with you,
Chelsea |
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Re: Beside the Seas
(User Rating: 1 ) by lexxie on
Saturday, 19th June 2004 @ 06:42:11 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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no need for a new tittle it's beautiful just like all of your poetry your a beautiful person and you show it through what you write beautiful,just beautiful
l3xxi3 |
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Re: Beside the Seas
(User Rating: 1 ) by Tanmaya on
Wednesday, 4th August 2004 @ 03:20:59 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Beautiful again.
I liked the last stanza! |
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Re: Beside the Seas
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 4th August 2004 @ 03:45:28 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Your rhythm is like the lapping of the tide upon the seashore. As you may already know - I get inspired by the sea, (amongst a multitude of other things) as I live by it, and I found this rather striking in its cadence, and message.
One of the best poems i've read today, so thanks very much for sharing it with us all.
Keep writing. |
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Re: Beside the Seas
(User Rating: 1 ) by anitajames on
Tuesday, 27th September 2005 @ 01:29:23 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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I love the way this just flows. I particularly am touched by the last stanza. It does seem to be out of our control at times does it not?
Ann |
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