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THE JOY OF LOVE:
Contributed by
RICHARD_CAMPBELL
on
Thursday, 10th October 2002 @ 04:00:00 PM in AEST
Topic:
LovePoetry
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AS THE OCEAN IS DEEP,
THE SKY IS BLUE,
SO IS MY LOVE JUST FOR YOU.
I HUNGER AND THIRST WHEN YOU 'RE GONE,
WINTER SOUND JUST LIKE A SONG.
THE SUN COMES OUT WHEN YOU ARRIVE,
THE BIRDS IN MY STOMACH BEGAN TO FLY.
MY HEART IS SO OVERFULL WITH JOY,
AS I HUGG AND KISS YOU, I BEGAN TO ENJOY.
I STAND AN LOOK INTO YOUR EYES,
AND SEE THE JOY THAT LIGHTS YOUR SMILE.
Copyright ©
RICHARD_CAMPBELL
... [
2002-10-10 16:00:00] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: THE JOY OF LOVE:
(User Rating: 1 ) by herbleaf23 on
Thursday, 10th October 2002 @ 05:54:10 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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"THE SUN COMES OUT WHEN YOU ARRIVE,
THE BIRDS IN MY STOMACH BEGAN TO FLY"
did you mean to jump from present tense in one line to past tense in the next? kinda loses me.
and the use of JOY, ENJOY, and JOY yet again all in the same stanza is not so good. overdoing it. get yourself a thesaurus and study it.
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Re: THE JOY OF LOVE:
(User Rating: 1 ) by SeXyDrAgOn on
Friday, 11th October 2002 @ 05:55:27 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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actually, i think its called repitition or something like that and i happen to like it. Its a great form of poetry, and i like this poem very much... GREAT WRITE... |
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Re: THE JOY OF LOVE:
(User Rating: 1 ) by RICHARD_CAMPBELL on
Saturday, 2nd November 2002 @ 11:27:06 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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HI HERBLEAF23,
THANK YOU FOR YOUR COMMENT,YOUR ADVICE IS TAKEN.
IN GOOD HEART,GOOD INSIGHT. |
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Re: THE JOY OF LOVE:
(User Rating: 1 ) by Lia on
Thursday, 7th November 2002 @ 01:30:03 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Robert..you must be busting at the seams with all this love you have!! |
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