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Curtain Call
Contributed by
Vitreous_Soul
on
Monday, 24th May 2004 @ 06:20:54 AM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
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'Neath catacombs, alone to brood
A mirror stares, cheerless prelude
From vacant eyes lost tears exude
Onyx sanctum; none dare intrude
An overture to tragedy
In solitude's opacity
Spoken so soft; soliloquy
"Within angelic eyes of thine
For you, my love, I strive to preen
Despite chimeric dreams of mine
This passion burns amaranthine
We are the stars within this show
Upon this stage plays out our scene
Love you so much, you'll never know
For i'm the Phantom, you're Christine"
On floors above, stage lights displayed
Endless beauty, never to fade
Soul piercing song, a serenade
Tragic, longing opera played
Hidden ardour his confession
Intense wishes his obsession
Her perfection leaves impression
"Be still my heart, thy silhouette
Thy sable locks cascade in sheen
When our eyes met, moonstruck kismet
Thy goddess form so palatine
Please sing for me your siren song
A madrigal with voice pristine
This eidolon has waited long
Transfix the mask, be my Christine"
From raven depths, swiftly ascend
With cross in hand, faint prayers extend
What discontent would faith portend
Will there remain a wraith to mend
Stars align, divine position
The drapes are drawn; intermission
Moment nears to find volition
Transpierce opaque, no audition
Savour vibrant composition
Sweet Christine, the soul's musician
Spells she weaves, heaven's magician
Thus she spoke; no inhibition--
"Are you there beyond my vision
For whom I sing heart's rendition
Wilst thou save me from perdition
Wilst thou love me, apparition"
Past umbral veil she doth emerge
Timbre dispels vehement dirge
A spotlight's cue summons the urge
Midset the stage spirits converge
His face obscured by shadows vast
Her luminance; lucid contrast
Two hearts in this cruel scene miscast
"Please sit beside this shattered king
Complete this dream, be castle's queen
For in this realm you're ev'rything
Now take thy rightful place Christine"
And thus she paused, a soul unsure
A glimm'ring tear splashed on the floor
Half-parted lips to speak once more
Decrescendo's touch swept the score
"Cloaked figure, now, I share thy plea
Behind that mask I yearn to see
I cannot know security
Within thy turbid destiny
I long to be embraced by thee
On bended knee, hand held gently
And yet these eyes cannot forsee
You as the key to set me free"
Faint cadence falls with sundered dreams
In crumbled walls and splintered beams
Unraveled now by weathered seams
Defeated bow hides scathing screams
'Pon withered ground lands single rose...
And thus red velvet curtains close
Copyright ©
Vitreous_Soul
... [
2004-05-24 06:20:54]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Curtain Call
(User Rating: 1 )
by Stitch on
Monday, 24th May 2004 @ 06:37:28 AM AEST
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Not breathing. Gasping for breath. Need I say more? Bravo, Dan! You have outdone yourself!
Stitch |
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Re: Curtain Call
(User Rating: 1 )
by ThePumpkinKing on
Monday, 24th May 2004 @ 06:45:08 AM AEST
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| daaannnng!!! that took my breath away! that was very awesome! =D |
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Re: Curtain Call
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 24th May 2004 @ 07:12:58 AM AEST
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I've actually run out of fair superlatives for you and what you write, for it's all going to end up being something far more than 'magnificent', and far loftier than mere 'sensational'.
"An overture to tragedy
In solitude's opacity"
Two lines to remember, there.
Thank you so much for the inspiration!
Keep writing! |
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Re: Curtain Call
(User Rating: 1 )
by lostinmyself on
Monday, 24th May 2004 @ 07:33:24 AM AEST
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i am awestruck V.S. this is amazing. a truly brilliant peice of work. i have no idea what i can say about it....the flow, the language..everything is amazing. perfect.
absolutly great write. keep it up!!
*hugs* phil xxx |
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Re: Curtain Call
(User Rating: 1 )
by DreamWeaver on
Monday, 24th May 2004 @ 09:41:06 AM AEST
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| It is always a pleasure to read your poetry Dan ... this one held me spellbound to the finish ... totally brilliant ... Jan |
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Re: Curtain Call
(User Rating: 1 )
by Eve on
Monday, 24th May 2004 @ 02:09:12 PM AEST
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I was breathing in rhythm to this incredible work of art, I noticed - and couldn't breathe once I'd finished.
There is no "amazing, once again" here. Because this is amazing beyond what other pieces I've read can reach.
I need... to go cry now. Anyone who doesn't need a good cry after this is just strange.
Keep writing or... I'll cry all over you,
-Eve. |
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Re: Curtain Call
(User Rating: 1 )
by brigitte7735 on
Monday, 24th May 2004 @ 02:25:11 PM AEST
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You already know how much i love this, but i figured thats no reason why i shouldnt tell you again.
It is the most glorious thing...an epic poem that stands alongside Phantom of the Opera in brilliance.
You make my heart stop and ive never experienced that with writing, only in the movies... This poem to me is like when i saw Lord of the Rings and all i could think was i am so glad to be alive at this time to experience this.
Love,
Vanessa |
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Re: Curtain Call
(User Rating: 1 )
by Dawny on
Monday, 24th May 2004 @ 04:29:33 PM AEST
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Breathtaking, simply beautiful
Love Dawny x |
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Re: Curtain Call
(User Rating: 1 )
by TheSchroedmeister on
Monday, 24th May 2004 @ 08:22:58 PM AEST
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I'd say this one is worth two forums.
A stupendous write |
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Re: Curtain Call
(User Rating: 1 )
by STRaNGe_LiNDSeY on
Monday, 24th May 2004 @ 11:49:51 PM AEST
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Dan, you know I have left the site, but I had to come back on this one time, because a little birdy told me that you had posted "Curtain Call". Dan, as you read this to me in phone conversations I grew to love it in pieces. As I heard you get excited over every new stanza you're heart poured out, I knew it was going to be something worth talking about. You really outdid yourself and the site with this one. This is on that level you've been looking to be on. You made it to the top. Valiantly. You took what you know best and made it more then great more then magnificent more then phenominal. If you were to submit this poem to a publishing company, they'd be crazy to turn you away. Reach for your dreams Dan. You have made it this far, push yourself to go the extra little bit. Good luck. Awesome poem.
Lindsey |
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Re: Curtain Call
(User Rating: 1 )
by Silent-No-More on
Tuesday, 25th May 2004 @ 12:22:04 AM AEST
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Every word... every single one... Perfect.
I am suddenly and completely ashamed by what I posted tonight.
This is... (insert your most flattering word here--- surely your choice of word would be better than anything I could come up with!) |
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Re: Curtain Call
(User Rating: 1 )
by swiftsouljah on
Wednesday, 26th May 2004 @ 10:22:03 AM AEST
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damn... just yeah
wayne |
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Re: Curtain Call
(User Rating: 1 )
by venkat on
Friday, 28th May 2004 @ 05:31:59 AM AEST
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Most exquisite, most breath taking lovely poem and this is the best I read after a long time on this site.absolutely remarkable.. V.S...never hesitate to draw my attention to your poems when you write with such great mastery. venkat
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Re: Curtain Call
(User Rating: 1 )
by lovingcritters on
Saturday, 29th May 2004 @ 12:28:17 AM AEST
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I was in the theatre I could see the stage and the actors, frozen in time........I did see the curtain come down upon a play divine.
Splendid indeed! Dan.......that was spectacular!
love
consue |
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Re: Curtain Call
(User Rating: 1 )
by Archie on
Saturday, 29th May 2004 @ 07:12:13 PM AEST
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| This is truly a great work, Very awesome |
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Re: Curtain Call
(User Rating: 1 )
by gery_giggles on
Monday, 31st May 2004 @ 08:03:55 AM AEST
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Dan,this is an amazing poem....i've never read something like this in my life....pat yourself on the back for such a great job
luv always |
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Re: Curtain Call
(User Rating: 1 )
by forever_lonely on
Tuesday, 1st June 2004 @ 02:37:13 PM AEST
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My friend... my good good friend,
If your eyes were a painting, they would be priceless,
If your heart was a god, it would be zeus,
If your lungs were a colour, they would be gold
If your hands were a sound, they would be endless
But keep your mind status quo, because its perfect
Im am also breathless, im gasping for air, because you just knocked the wind out of me with every sentece and word, truely amazing, truely perfection, truely a masterpeice
Luke |
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Re: Curtain Call
(User Rating: 1 )
by blueheart on
Friday, 4th June 2004 @ 04:22:25 AM AEST
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| There arent enough stars to rate this one. Really. |
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Re: Curtain Call
(User Rating: 1 )
by MilitaryPrince on
Saturday, 5th June 2004 @ 06:04:14 AM AEST
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| WOW!!! I have to agree, I don't believe I have EVER read anything like this in my life, AMAZING use of vocabulary to make up a breathtaking write! Stunning, absolutley stunning.... |
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Re: Curtain Call
(User Rating: 1 )
by Black13 on
Monday, 14th June 2004 @ 01:29:46 PM AEST
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Ok Dan. This one I know I don't understand but I think it rocked. :P
"Are you there beyond my vision
For whom I sing heart's rendition
Wilst thou save me from perdition
Wilst thou love me, apparition"
I really liked that part.
The whole poem flowed incredibly well but that part really grabbed me. |
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Re: Curtain Call
(User Rating: 1 )
by slayer_015 on
Monday, 14th June 2004 @ 04:25:13 PM AEST
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you've a poets heart my friend,
something I understand,
that was an amazing poem,
you should change your name to,The Lyricist.
hahaha
Brian |
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