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Welcome !	Home · FAQ · Topics · Web Links · Your Account · Submit Poetry · Top 30 · OldSite Link	22-November 05:41:50 AEST

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Dark Pool

Contributed by Dierna on Sunday, 23rd May 2004 @ 09:35:36 PM in AEST
Topic: SongLyrics

Will someone save me
From this dark pool
Trying to bring me under
Save me!
And bvring the end
to the thunder

You can't beat me
I'm the one you cannot defeat
So you'd better admit
Before we get in it.

Will someone save me
From this dark pool
Trying to bring me under
Save me!
And bvring the end
to the thunder

You're always there
Watching listening waiting
Leave me here
And end your serenading

Will someone save me
From this dark pool
Trying to bring me under
Save me!
And bvring the end
to the thunder

Save me! I cry
For here I am, waiting to die
End my sufferage
And bring about the end.

Will someone save me
From this dark pool
Trying to bring me under
Save me!
And bvring the end
to the thunder

End my terror! Bring the day
End this in the best possible way
Save me from this horrible demise
Let the sun once more rise

Will someone save me
From this dark pool
Trying to bring me under
Save me!
And bvring the end
to the thunder

Will someone save me
From this dark pool
Trying to bring me under
Save me!
And bvring the end
to the thunder.

Copyright © Dierna ... [ 2004-05-23 21:35:36]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Dark Pool (User Rating: 1 )
by Cole on Thursday, 17th June 2004 @ 12:01:31 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Ok. I think, key word being think. I'm no profesional or anything. I think that you should try to limit how much you use the refrain or whatevery you want to call it. Chorus, maybe if these are lyrics. Maybe you could put two stanzas together and then do the refrain. It's just, reading the poem, you get tired of the refrain. Good work, though!

Since, I rated and critqued your poem, I'd appreciate it if you would do me the same favor.

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