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Disillusion
Contributed by
Avarice_Riot
on
Monday, 17th May 2004 @ 05:27:07 AM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
Blood -
Bubbling dark
on lips we
perceived to be
luscious.
Lies -
Snaking in
A band of thieves
Hiding behind
White clouds.
Shame –
As visible as
Monstrous smoke
Devirgining
The air.
Mercy –
Futile cries
Sordid lies
Phantasms of light
Dancing drunk on
Streets they
Claim as
Their own….
Copyright ©
Avarice_Riot
... [
2004-05-17 05:27:07]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Disillusion
(User Rating: 1 )
by venkat on
Monday, 17th May 2004 @ 05:33:08 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| pretty dark images..good read. venkat |
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Re: Disillusion
(User Rating: 1 )
by Chrissylee on
Monday, 17th May 2004 @ 07:30:16 AM AEST
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| futile cries sordid lies sounds like my life... nice write |
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Re: Disillusion
(User Rating: 1 )
by PRECIOUSBECKY on
Monday, 17th May 2004 @ 12:40:14 PM AEST
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GREAT WRITE
I DIG IT
GREAT READ |
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Re: Disillusion
(User Rating: 1 )
by blueheart on
Monday, 17th May 2004 @ 11:31:01 PM AEST
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Glad to have you back!!
Dark images that chilled my bones with words that stung my mind. Unique and creative.
Great write. |
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Re: Disillusion
(User Rating: 1 )
by Hurretje on
Wednesday, 19th May 2004 @ 03:37:29 AM AEST
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Wonderful dark dance of poetry!
Hugs,
Hur |
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Re: Disillusion
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 19th May 2004 @ 03:54:27 AM AEST
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| So talented and such a magnificant poet. Truly dark and awesome piece of writing. |
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Re: Disillusion
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 30th May 2004 @ 05:25:12 AM AEST
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Another fantastic piece of work, very well done once again.
wildejohnny. |
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Re: Disillusion
(User Rating: 1 )
by Baronhawk on
Thursday, 17th June 2004 @ 06:29:27 AM AEST
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What a sordid dance of such discordant imagery. It is a macabre procession that does strikes at the very roots of souls. Like a stinged instrument that strums out a melancholy tune so is your poem wrings sorrow from the soul. Indeed I myself am partial to such rhymes but I am an old embittered man...(oh well 27 is old compared to your tender young age. heh heh). It is unbecoming for the young and potentialed to be mired in such depths...I do earnestly hope you would snap out of this darksome moods...seen herein in your most latest series of writes. Oh well such irony a hermit encouraging another to not revel in past darksome humors...ha ha ha. Again a nice write herein.. technically it is to me at least seems nice with a structure that echoes well its subject matter.
"Revel if you must in unrelenting despair, swim if you need to in the waters of melancholy and blight but remember that even in the gloom of the darkest of nights there are sometime still exists the dimmest of starlight..." |
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Re: Disillusion
(User Rating: 1 )
by arden on
Tuesday, 22nd June 2004 @ 10:17:39 PM AEST
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dark and chilling. this was awesome.
very well written. i liked this one alot.
great work. keep it up.
Arden |
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Re: Disillusion
(User Rating: 1 )
by Broken_Skin on
Saturday, 10th July 2004 @ 05:41:38 AM AEST
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| Oh very nice, mmm.. very nice indeed, kinda turns me on lol |
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Re: Disillusion
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 28th January 2005 @ 10:45:00 AM AEST
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| Dark but very interesting! "devirgining the air" is a vivid turn of phrase. Cheers! |
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