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Redemption
Contributed by
juliette
on
Friday, 14th May 2004 @ 01:11:18 PM in AEST
Topic:
Lifepoems
|
What bloomed from proud innocence
shaken up one to many times
However tempted, resilient before a rushed
trip, alone in unchartered territory
Swiftly, swept away and swallowed whole:
Spit out so viciously and left to wander
aimlessly toward you.
Now, a bitterly bothersome blossom
boasting a new glow.
Out of the darkness of levity
A faint whisper of forgiveness
To shallow beneath the pounding of false
passion
A flame left passively to burn out.
Copyright ©
juliette
... [
2004-05-14 13:11:18]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Redemption
(User Rating: 1 )
by lil_angel on
Friday, 14th May 2004 @ 02:03:05 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| This is really good! I really liked it as is! |
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Re: Redemption
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Friday, 14th May 2004 @ 03:14:50 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| A flame left passively to burn out. nice line. |
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Re: Redemption
(User Rating: 1 )
by katyqueen35 on
Friday, 14th May 2004 @ 04:21:23 PM AEST
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a Message)
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good job.
i wouldn't change a thing.
you expressed well.
thank you for shareing. |
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Re: Redemption
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Saturday, 15th May 2004 @ 11:41:25 AM AEST
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absolutely lovely, i would just fix this one word, "shaken up one *too* many times", beautiful poem, i love the comparison of life to a blossom:) hugs n' love nessa
@->>->:-
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