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four walls
Contributed by
dominique
on
Thursday, 13th May 2004 @ 04:17:14 PM in AEST
Topic:
hbadday
|
im so tired of going through the motions
the work and the stress
im trying to live my life to the best
but im forced to settle for living like the restaind though it doesnt feel like it
i know im blessed
but i still feel like im in front of
the world undressed
i just want to be alone
the one place to call my own
to run from it allto my little four walls
im still here.bored going out of my mind
nearly unconcious unaware of time
this isnt the place i once knew as mine
i wish id known when my life would decline
wither into an insignificant rhyme
i just want to get awayto a different place if just for a day
i want to be happy to be free
to go somewhere and just be me
these four walls are my refuge
these four walls are my prison
theres no where to run
when its my life you live in
Copyright ©
dominique
... [
2004-05-13 16:17:14]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: four walls
(User Rating: 1 )
by honeyrain on
Thursday, 13th May 2004 @ 04:24:13 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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your poem was so emotional,i could feel your words.i really liked it
Favorite line:
i know im blessed
but i still feel like im in front of
the world undressed |
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Re: four walls
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 16th May 2004 @ 08:36:54 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Welcome to YPDC.
Your poem is very good. I especially like the following rhyme.
"nearly unconcious unaware of time
this isnt the place i once knew as mine
i wish id known when my life would decline
wither into an insignificant rhyme"
But that's beside the point. You have a good grasp of structuring your ideas in a legible fashion, as well as possessing a distinct, imaginative and evocative voice, to use it in writing well thought-out poems such as this.
Well done.
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