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Realize
Contributed by
loyalist
on
Thursday, 13th May 2004 @ 05:44:33 AM in AEST
Topic:
InspirationalPoems
|
To realize
your not alone
What Lies ahead
may be unknown
What you can't see
will soon be shown
Feel all the love
that's in you bones
All that you are
is made of earth
From life comes death
and then rebirth
That spark of life
keeps moving forth
In the land and sky
and in the surf
You're always changing
yet stay the same
Until you realize
it's not a game
Pleasure, problems,
peace and pain
Soon it's all over
then back again
Copyright ©
loyalist
... [
2004-05-13 05:44:33]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Realize
(User Rating: 1 )
by venkat on
Thursday, 13th May 2004 @ 05:49:33 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| Aaaah..excellent..simply beautiful with shining thoughts....venkat |
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Re: Realize
(User Rating: 1 )
by Broken_Skin on
Thursday, 13th May 2004 @ 05:51:23 AM AEST
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| :) thats the flow i like,hope i didnt insult you with my comment on the other poem.this is great i really enjoyed it x |
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Re: Realize
(User Rating: 1 )
by Stitch on
Thursday, 13th May 2004 @ 06:49:51 AM AEST
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Yes, the circle. Over and over until we get it right. No, I don't believe in reincarnation, only in man's stupidity. Enough about that. An interesting write. I appreciate the brevity and the profound but simple realizations. Nice.
Stitch |
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Re: Realize
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Thursday, 13th May 2004 @ 03:18:41 PM AEST
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| well done. really nice poem. |
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Re: Realize
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Friday, 14th May 2004 @ 12:28:49 AM AEST
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truely beautiful:) hugs n' love nessa
@->>->:- |
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Re: Realize
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 23rd December 2004 @ 04:38:08 AM AEST
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Its a well-thought out concept of rebirth and reincarnation, however, your ending was weak.
I'd change that to;
"It's all over -
soon
to start again"
I also thought this was a bit out
"Until you realize
it's not a game"
I'd change it to
"You're always changing
never the same
So just have fun
it's just a game"
. .. but that's my opinion.
Keep writing. |
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