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Lost Son
Contributed by
alecfernadez
on
Monday, 10th May 2004 @ 01:39:10 PM in AEST
Topic:
AngryPoetry
|
Children should be seen and not heard,
Everytime I spoke it was stupid to you,
You battered me emotionaly/ It hurt,
Every single thing I said was wrong,
You destroyed my confidence,
I destroyed myself/That didnt take long
Was it a freak coincidence?
That you hated your bastard child,
Was it an act of love?
When you hit your bastard child
I went through hell and back,
You ignored every vital event,
I dont know if you even care,
And the sad thing is, now I dont care
You hit me for sneaking chocolate,
You hit me for just speaking,
You made me feel like I was useless,
You just didnt seem to care
When I fell down, you never picked me up,
When I got hurt, you didnt even notice,
You didnt even notice the cuts on my arm,
And when you did, you wanted to put me away
You cant even afford to raise your eldest child,
But can afford to raise the other one,
Was it hard picking between your offspring,
I dont think it was, she is your princess
And I'm just that stain on the bathroom floor,
You scrub at it every single day,
And it just will never go away,
A child is for life, not just for christmas
You didnt even take an intrest in my work,
If you did you would have known what happened,
You would have found your son is a whore,
But you just didnt give a *****,
You found it in your heart to ignore
And now I sit here hating you for hating me,
I sit here remembering how you shouted at me,
Because I couldnt ride a bike when I was eight,
You made me stutter, made me into a freak
But I guess now the tables are turned,
I'm going up in the world and your still sinking,
Everything you did to me is making me stronger,
Every shout, every hit, every word is my weapon
So how does it feel to have a self-harming son,
A bulemic, self hating, self destructive waste of life,
The seed that you sowed, oh boy has it grown,
Into something more horrible than you can imagine
That innocent voice is lost in dark memories,
That innocent laugh is lost somewhere in space,
You are my creator, my inspiration I grant you that,
But even though you created me,
I dont think I can stop hating you
For all the emotional torture you delt me,
But guess what I'm not weak, I'm strong,
I have kept so much hidden for so long,
If you ever found out, you'd realize I'm lost,
And eventually when you get that piece of mail,
Blood and tear stained from my twisted mind,
You'll find it composed of two lines;
Dear Dad
From your lost son
(I still love you, as a parent, even though I know you hated me, you got me whatever I wanted, but sometimes materialism is just escapism from the fact you cant raise a child, all I ever wanted was a hug, not a self pitying hug, but a true real hug. I know you kick yourself for what you made me into, and I know somewhere in that unfocused mind you still care for me, and in some ways you showed that. But you always said I was forgetful, but dad, I never forget.)
Copyright ©
alecfernadez
... [
2004-05-10 13:39:10]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Lost Son
(User Rating: 1 )
by lil_angel on
Monday, 10th May 2004 @ 01:52:53 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Wow powerful, sad, but very good! |
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Re: Lost Son
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 10th May 2004 @ 02:03:19 PM AEST
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I commend you for facing what you need to. It's a part of healing that you must do to deal with the abuse you had to tolerate. I pray you have the strength to overcome this and move forward in life! Forgiveness is the easy part...forgetting? I don't think from an emotional standpoint...we ever can!
God bless..... Joni |
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Re: Lost Son
(User Rating: 1 )
by UnfallenTears on
Monday, 10th May 2004 @ 02:16:21 PM AEST
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| I started to tear up when I starting reading this, then I got angry. You are an amazing writer. |
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Re: Lost Son
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jackee_line on
Monday, 10th May 2004 @ 02:59:07 PM AEST
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Very good vent, full of emotions.
I can feel your pain. |
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Re: Lost Son
(User Rating: 1 )
by deathdrop on
Friday, 14th May 2004 @ 03:58:05 PM AEST
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this is stained in black emotion. I LOVE IT! you go and say what you want. you sound so much stronger than your dad.
you've put this excellently!!!
well done!!!!!!!!!!!! |
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