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I'm so in Love with You
Contributed by
cheech
on
Thursday, 6th May 2004 @ 04:02:31 PM in AEST
Topic:
LovePoetry
|
with you by my side i wanna stay here
forever,i never ever wanna say good-bye,
not even for a few hours,you've touched
every place in my heart,this is what we need
i wanna be by your side for the rest of my
life,i wanna make you laugh when you're
having a bad day,i wanna be able to see
what you're going through,its true
getting to know you more and more each
day,i'm so in love with you,i'll help you
through,i'm so in love with you,i'm so in love
with you,i don't think i could fall in any more
in love with you,i'm so in love with you
you bring me so much happiness,i bring you
so much love,when i'm with you,i feel fearless
everyday i'm with you i hate everybody less and
less,this is a wonderful thing,i'm so happy
you gave me a shoulder to cry on whenever i need
it,you gave me the time,i love you,you seem like
you care so much,i wanna share my life with you
i can't wait til i get to hold your hand everyday,i
can't wait to kiss you everynight and every morning
these day we spend together are the best days
of my life,i hope you realize my eyes are set on your heart
every moment i spend with you everything keeps getting better
and better,baby i love you with all my heart,i love it when you
kissed me underwater,i love the way we'll argue about me
not being fatter,you give me everything to be happy,i love you
getting to know you more and more each
day,i'm so in love with you,i'll help you
through,i'm so in love with you,i'm so in love
with you,i don't think i could fall in any more
in love with you,i'm so in love with you
Copyright ©
cheech
... [
2004-05-06 16:02:31]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: I'm so in Love with You
(User Rating: 1 )
by alecfernadez on
Thursday, 6th May 2004 @ 04:11:27 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
this is a good poem, and what you;ve written conveys quite well, however I'm not quite convinced.
I have a few problems with this poem;
Never have I seen the word love used so gratiuosly. Love is a strong and powerful word, but so is the word *****, and after a while it loses impact. Unfortunatly that happened in time maybe 20-30 years ago, and inthis poem, in the 2nd stanza. The imagery wasnt impressive, kinda cliched, yet I as many other poets are guilty of this, so I cant really say much.
Otherwise its a good poem, and its fairly impressive. Its just the overuse of the word love, that kinda bored me, I'll do a count!
Love: 18 times (approxamitly, including the title)
It may have been what you wanted to do, but it sure as hell irritated me!
3/5 |
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Re: I'm so in Love with You
(User Rating: 1 )
by luckycharm on
Thursday, 6th May 2004 @ 04:26:38 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| You poem has so many emotions in it and it's good to express them. You are a very good writer.-luckycharm. |
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