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Gone In Glory
Contributed by
Esther
on
Wednesday, 5th May 2004 @ 09:27:19 PM in AEST
Topic:
war
|
Barely out of college
With little experience under his belt
Heading out to war
Without the fear he should have felt
Shipped out to a foreign country
An exciting adventure he thinks
But he does not know of the terror
Because he hasn’t felt fear in his heart sink
After weeks away for home
He prays to God let me be able to strive
But he should have prayed for life itself
And for another chance to survive
Alone on the battlefield
Just a college boy living his dream
To tell the stories of the fight for his country
Only to be silenced by his own scream
Lying in a blood red pool
Far from home on foreign ground
A dying hero numbed by pain
Hearing the last beats that his heart will pound
His life forever unlived
All that’s left are memories and tears –a blur
For his country gone in glory
To become another fallen soldier
Copyright ©
Esther
... [
2004-05-05 21:27:19]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Gone In Glory
(User Rating: 1 )
by BrghtNSnshny on
Wednesday, 5th May 2004 @ 09:59:56 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| that was really well written, i think more people need to read it and that many probably feel this way too. good write |
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Re: Gone In Glory
(User Rating: 1 )
by Archie on
Wednesday, 5th May 2004 @ 10:05:45 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| It is a great poem it is only missing one thing, meter. The rhyming in the poem is very good but the changing beats of the stanzas draw away from it's intended style. Count the beats on lines 1 and 3 it is 5 beats this is good. Count the beats on lines 2 and 4, they are 11 and 8 if your poem had followed this through out it would have been great, but it doesn't. That's what I see. The poem is still good with out it. |
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