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As close as I have been
Contributed by
Archie
on
Sunday, 2nd May 2004 @ 10:55:26 AM in AEST
Topic:
Lifepoems
|
Sharp and high crags tempt me:
the scene that does not mend.
The setting sun is beyond the valley,
darkness falls upon the land.
Bitter waters in my canteen
do not nearly quench my thirst.
As this scene of bliss I'm watching
that's as close as I have been.
Howling winds sound just like voices
calling me to jump on down.
A thousand feet or more I've climbed here,
to tempt my fate ,to take my vow.
How on earth did I ever get here
and why haven't I changed my mind.
No edge in the darkness, no gaurd for safety;
just me and God to change my heart.
My goals and dreams all hang in the balance
to make the choice that I will make,
to keep on moving or to stay here;
before the sun sets far away.
For once the darkness totally sets in
this is a battle I can not win
But that's the choice that I must make here.
And it's as close as I have been.
Note: This is sort of a symbolic poem because I was not on a mountain top or cliff when I wrote this. I was on level ground having a cup of coffee by myself at a local diner. I stayed there and sorted things out. I'm glad I did.
Copyright ©
Archie
... [
2004-05-02 10:55:26]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: As close as I have been
(User Rating: 1 )
by deathdrop on
Monday, 3rd May 2004 @ 03:36:17 AM AEST
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a Message)
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thank you for sharing this archie. its straight from the heart, and it touched mine too. year, i do feel like this. thank you for your support, and i'll pm you if i need to talk. thanks again.
from rosie. |
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Re: As close as I have been
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 3rd May 2004 @ 05:51:52 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Forthright and stark images give this poem something else other than a sense of renewal of self. I like your use of repetition too. I don't see too much of that here, and its quite nice.
4 stars. |
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Re: As close as I have been
(User Rating: 1 )
by Juliet on
Wednesday, 5th May 2004 @ 02:59:56 PM AEST
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So beautiful!
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Re: As close as I have been
(User Rating: 1 )
by Wachumiri on
Wednesday, 12th May 2004 @ 02:01:42 PM AEST
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For having not been on a mountain, you sure described it well. A good choise was the one you made. If not we would not be blessed right now with your moving poems.
Take care.
David |
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Re: As close as I have been
(User Rating: 1 )
by Elena on
Friday, 28th May 2004 @ 03:40:47 PM AEST
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| As beautiful as it is brave... |
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Re: As close as I have been
(User Rating: 1 )
by inoc on
Thursday, 7th October 2004 @ 06:38:59 AM AEST
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a Message)
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every line was brilliantly worded
thank you for sharing and I am so glad you made the right choice...
cheers!~ |
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