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Rescue My soul.
Contributed by
Thivanka
on
Sunday, 2nd May 2004 @ 01:00:30 AM in AEST
Topic:
LovePoetry
|
Rescue my soul.
Take me away from this dilemma,
Caused by this somber aroma,
Far & Far.
This desolate town,
Which I look at, with a frown,
Up & down.
Together we can fly,
After the knot we tie,
By & by.
Hence, we will build a shrine,
There we shall whine,
Time to time.
Together and warm,
Never again shall we be torn,
Bone to bone.
Copyright ©
Thivanka
... [
2004-05-02 01:00:30]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Rescue My soul.
(User Rating: 1 )
by bernard on
Sunday, 2nd May 2004 @ 01:29:03 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Good poem although I suggest you change the word whine to wine or while, to whine is to lament with a high tinny voice and that is something lovers would seldom do it throws the poem out of concept.
bernard. |
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Re: Rescue My soul.
(User Rating: 1 )
by AnGeL_M on
Sunday, 2nd May 2004 @ 02:04:14 AM AEST
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This Is Really Good Thivanka !!!!!! Written So Well !!!!!!!!!!! I Liked It :-)
Keep Em Coming WishYou The Best Of Luck !!!!!!!!!
*******LoVe**AnGeL*********
******************************* |
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