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Birthday Wish
Contributed by
mouth
on
Tuesday, 27th April 2004 @ 03:01:07 PM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
Pink carnations on my birthday never thrilled me much
Candles all lined up, lit up to count the days already spent
Wishing for time to stop the days from running past
Like a hyper child who can't wait to grow up.
But time, she decieves a youthful mind
Before you know it, your old and used
You barely remember how it felt to rise from bed refreshed and new
Now your bones ache and crack
There is a funny kink in the middle of your back
And you wish to be young again
How you would do things so differently
If you could turn back the hands of time
And remember at twenty- five
What you know when your sixty-five
So, save your flowers, they will die in a week
No over the hill jokes please, you'll be old too some day
Just give me a pack of smokes and a jug of wine when I turn sixy-five
I 'll just be glad I am still alive
Sitting there wishing I was once again twenty - five.
Copyright ©
mouth
... [
2004-04-27 15:01:07]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Birthday Wish
(User Rating: 1 )
by lil_angel on
Tuesday, 27th April 2004 @ 03:40:24 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Very well done! Excellently done! |
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Re: Birthday Wish
(User Rating: 1 )
by Griffin9 on
Tuesday, 27th April 2004 @ 05:16:54 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| It's good but try not to use cliches like "turn back the hands of time". And by the way it's "you're". |
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Re: Birthday Wish
(User Rating: 1 )
by sugar0986 on
Tuesday, 27th April 2004 @ 08:22:35 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Good Poem.
~Brittany~ |
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