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Broken Promise
Contributed by
Pyrofungus
on
Monday, 26th April 2004 @ 09:31:47 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
Alive
So fragile
A broken promise
That leads
To Death
By the hands of them
They enjoy to watch
To watch you suffer
You plead for your life
They watch and laugh
They killed you
Your Gone
They dumped your body
Decomposing slowly
Your nothing but bones
Copyright ©
Pyrofungus
... [
2004-04-26 21:31:47] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Broken Promise
(User Rating: 1 ) by lil_angel on
Monday, 26th April 2004 @ 10:00:08 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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This is a powerful write! Excellent job! this is one of my favorite parts:
You plead for your life
They watch and laugh
Great write though! |
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Re: Broken Promise
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Monday, 26th April 2004 @ 10:19:34 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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I also think this is a powerful write--
I believe it would have been more powerful if either the "you" or the "they" were written in first person (as in "I" or "me").
In fact, if the "they" in this poem were portrayed instead as a first person character, this poem would be a really disturbing and terrifying piece.
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Re: Broken Promise
(User Rating: 1 ) by bleeding_chains on
Tuesday, 27th April 2004 @ 11:47:51 AM AEST (User
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I love this poem. |
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