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It's only 10:00, my son!
Contributed by
reprobate
on
Monday, 26th April 2004 @ 07:24:41 PM in AEST
Topic:
Tributes
|
With wreckless abandon and a carefree grin
The hapless butterfly becomes the object of your chase
Your pockets bulge with that shiny rock and other finds
And the knees of your jeans seem to have disappeared
Your hair can't find a decent resting place
At once straight and yet loosely curled
Highlighting the sparkle within your eyes
And with a boyish "hey!", you're off again
A fallen branch becomes magically transformed
You wield your "sword" against imaginary usurpers
Your mighty steed carries you in search of long lost treasures
All the while you surrepititiously stalk the cat
Your castle now safe and more treasure pocketed
The harassed feline gone in self-preserving haste
Your attention is now drawn to hearth and home
With loud bangs and footsteps, you announce your return
As the dust of your morning's adventures settle
You relate the day's discoveries and observations
"Did you know there's a dead squirrel over on the next block?"
"I'm hungryCanIgetadogWhat'sforlunchHow'bouta'girl-cheese'samwhich?"
Copyright ©
reprobate
... [
2004-04-26 19:24:41] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: It's only 10:00, my son!
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Monday, 26th April 2004 @ 10:58:18 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Ah, the carefee joys of childhood. Sounds like a happy loved child to me. Wish they all could be. This is lovely and written with a lot of love and respect for your child. Great to see that.
Rita |
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Re: It's only 10:00, my son!
(User Rating: 1 ) by Cynthia on
Wednesday, 28th April 2004 @ 09:14:48 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Awwwww, this is so cute. Little boys bring out the best in us don't they? I loved this. *S* Cynthia |
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Re: It's only 10:00, my son!
(User Rating: 1 ) by Archie on
Saturday, 1st May 2004 @ 08:06:00 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Hi Your poem is great it has good consonance and asonance. I like the way you use the short and long vowel sounds in the first and last stanzas to show your son's actions. As an aside you have a good use of sounds. Rhyming could be more consistent yet I do not think I could have done any better. Nice Job!!! |
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Re: It's only 10:00, my son!
(User Rating: 1 ) by deadheadpoet on
Tuesday, 14th August 2007 @ 06:33:29 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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I am smiling ear to ear...this was so playful to read. Geez with a 10 year old (almost 11) and a 5 year old, I can relate. You penned this so well. I really am falling in love with your writing. Thank you for sharing.
Peace and hugs,
Laura |
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