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SLiT THe THRoaT, CRoSS ouT THe eYeS
Contributed by
xSlashXPrettyXSkinx
on
Sunday, 25th April 2004 @ 09:52:09 PM in AEST
Topic:
Suicide
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Lay there bleeding on the black leather seats
This beaten old chevy's thrown into gear
Breeze sweeping past through an open window
Hords of spaced out people steering clear.
The horn is stuck on that horrid noise
Warning everyone of the oncoming danger
Blood pressure rises, as the blood drips from her neck
Soaking the t-shirt of the beasly imaget in the mirror of a stranger.
Peering back in heated destruction
Her eyes are gone, just blackness in their place
Buised and stretched sockets from fingers grasping
At a nearly unrecognizable face.
Her mouth caught in a violently soundless scream
Lips dirty and chapped from one each to the other
Peaceful urgance in her washed out fake tanner
A voided expression remembers another.
Something reaches through the windshield and pierces her body
As an invisable force pushes her from behind
Desperation and obliteration surround her
Her eyes stuck on the image in the mirror from her mind.
Newspaper reports reply, "It's a suicide"
Family and friends hope they know the true story
Standing behind the yellow police tape
Her body lies face up, smiling in glory.
Copyright ©
xSlashXPrettyXSkinx
... [
2004-04-25 21:52:09]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: SLiT THe THRoaT, CRoSS ouT THe eYeS
(User Rating: 1 )
by poetrygodslove on
Sunday, 25th April 2004 @ 09:55:45 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| very hard poem to read. I couldnt finish it. you want me to be honest with you. IT IS A VERY GOOD WRITE but it hurt me to continue. hate to have this type of thing go on. your a good poet but how do I explain more. do I just read and not comment? Im sorry but you still have a good write here so well that i shed a tear. so that means alot im sure. sandy |
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Re: SLiT THe THRoaT, CRoSS ouT THe eYeS
(User Rating: 1 )
by AnGeL_M on
Sunday, 25th April 2004 @ 10:09:12 PM AEST
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I'm Like Sandy I Can't Finish Reading This It Broke My Heart....You Are A Very Good Writer
One Reason Why I Can't Finish Reading This Is I Had A Friend Not To Long Ago Kill Her Self
And It Breaks My Heart To Hear Of Someone Thinking Of Such Things..... God Bless You
*******LoVe**AnGeL********
****************************** |
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Re: SLiT THe THRoaT, CRoSS ouT THe eYeS
(User Rating: 1 )
by paper-heart-hero on
Sunday, 25th April 2004 @ 10:30:58 PM AEST
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| hands down.... this has got to be perhaps one of.. if not the BEST piece of heartbreak to ever grace my bitter eyes. i can't even start to tell you how much i just love it. these guys say they couldnt finish it... i couldnt wait for the next line! |
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Re: SLiT THe THRoaT, CRoSS ouT THe eYeS
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 26th April 2004 @ 05:19:18 AM AEST
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This is only the second suicide poem i've ever commented upon (I try to make a point of not reading them), where I stumbled over it, following a crumb-trail of comments . . . to here.
I will say that this poem gave me a physical rush of blood to my head. 'Exhilirating', isn't really a word you'd associate with such poetry, but I'll quote the following;
"Blood pressure rises, as the blood drips from her neck"
. . . which made me widen my eyes. You've written something quite brutal, bloody - yet exacting in poetic portrayal . . .
The last suicide poem I'll willingly comment on. Hopefully. 5/5. |
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Re: SLiT THe THRoaT, CRoSS ouT THe eYeS
(User Rating: 1 )
by silent on
Monday, 26th April 2004 @ 06:47:51 AM AEST
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Very descriptive and morbidly enjoyable i suppose i would say. It's a very sad topic but that's life. great poem.
Silent |
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Re: SLiT THe THRoaT, CRoSS ouT THe eYeS
(User Rating: 1 )
by shelby on
Monday, 26th April 2004 @ 04:43:06 PM AEST
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very descriptive poem your talented but Im like the rest I just lost another friend to suicide and its hard for me to read these or comment on them just because they rip me up and make me cry.
michelle |
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Re: SLiT THe THRoaT, CRoSS ouT THe eYeS
(User Rating: 1 )
by arden on
Monday, 26th April 2004 @ 05:55:58 PM AEST
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Holy sh*t!
this was one freakin powerful poem. i loved ever word. the imagery was unbelivable. im speechless. just wow.
Amazing talent.
Arden |
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Re: SLiT THe THRoaT, CRoSS ouT THe eYeS
(User Rating: 1 )
by sugar0986 on
Wednesday, 28th April 2004 @ 06:45:43 PM AEST
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Wow! this poem left my speachless. Really good poem.
~Brittany~ |
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Re: SLiT THe THRoaT, CRoSS ouT THe eYeS
(User Rating: 1 )
by blackmarker on
Saturday, 1st May 2004 @ 04:27:17 PM AEST
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| Amazing.. so well written.. fantastic imagery.. I'm just.. I don't know what to say, except.. Wow. |
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Re: SLiT THe THRoaT, CRoSS ouT THe eYeS
(User Rating: 1 )
by deadbloodyrose on
Tuesday, 15th June 2004 @ 03:19:55 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| this is a very well written piece.. it held my attention and caputred my heart.. i really like it.. good job.. AMI JO |
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