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Acid Trip
Contributed by
creed
on
Sunday, 25th April 2004 @ 07:10:34 PM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
This is all so depressing
I cant seem to breathe
Everything's spinning
Just like it use to
I'm stumbling around
I'm shaking a little
It's all so faint
All these thoughts
Running through my head
Everything is real
Everything is fake
Hiding under unreak skin
Sickening sight
Fading in and out
Dying feeling
Everything's numb
I cant feel anything
All the colors
Blurred together
Copyright ©
creed
... [
2004-04-25 19:10:34]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Acid Trip
(User Rating: 1 )
by Ramuel on
Sunday, 25th April 2004 @ 07:26:17 PM AEST
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a Message)
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In this poems simplicity, I think there is little room for improvement. I think the short line lengths are good, and contribute to the pace and flow of the poem. You spelled "unreal" wrong in the 3rd line of the second stanza, I just noticed. Overall, an O.K. poem.
-Ramuel :) |
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Re: Acid Trip
(User Rating: 1 )
by creed on
Sunday, 25th April 2004 @ 07:47:22 PM AEST
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| i didnt even notice that i spelled that wrong. i wasnt paying attention when i was typing. oh well. its nice to have ur opinion. it helps me improve |
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Re: Acid Trip
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 25th April 2004 @ 09:02:52 PM AEST
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There is something wrong with the dosage of your medication if that is how you react to it. No med should react like that. I would be concerned if I were you. I can't believe no one else is.
Rita |
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Re: Acid Trip
(User Rating: 1 )
by creed on
Sunday, 25th April 2004 @ 09:08:03 PM AEST
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| theres nothing to worry about. its just that sometimes my dilantin levels will get off level. it happens very rarely but when it does it's real odd. |
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Re: Acid Trip
(User Rating: 1 )
by TaintedOptomist on
Thursday, 6th May 2004 @ 04:06:56 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
hey love...good work!
T
S
Y
O
W |
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