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This Game
Contributed by
sabrina
on
Sunday, 25th April 2004 @ 01:27:20 PM in AEST
Topic:
LostLove
|
I never thought you'd end it this way.
I never saw it coming.
I didn't think it would bring this much pain.
My heart inside I know is still longing.
I don't know what you're looking for or maybe it's just me.
But I can't help but feel your love for me was not true.
Your words still burn me and it's hard to make you see.
What I did wrong I'll try to fix, and maybe we'll get through.
Something tells me that it won't ever be the same.
It brings me heartache, this foolish complicated game.
How you looked at me and told me it was done.
I knew that's what you were thinking.
It hurt inside, my emotions were spun.
In a web where the world outside was shrinking.
I didn't want it to end so soon.
But there is nothing I can do.
I hope you realize what you've lost and want me to come back to you.
Copyright ©
sabrina
... [
2004-04-25 13:27:20]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: This Game
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jellybellyprincess on
Sunday, 25th April 2004 @ 01:40:28 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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I like the rhyming structure here.... nicely done on that part....
This entire write seems as if it could be you talking to whoever this is for. And I really like that quality of it.... realistic.... interesting in that way.
A very well done write. And kudos-- you've managed to write a poem about such a top and yet stear away from overused phrases (which is tougher than the dickins to do--- well done!)
an awesome write ; )
God bless
Love
Ellen |
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Re: This Game
(User Rating: 1 )
by Kie on
Sunday, 25th April 2004 @ 06:08:21 PM AEST
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a Message)
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A very moving poem with so much heart in it. When a relationship ends it is tough. Very tough to go on as well. I enjoyed this and thought you did a fine job.
Kie |
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