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Behind Bolted Doors
Contributed by
forgottensorrow
on
Saturday, 24th April 2004 @ 11:34:32 PM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
I''m hollowed up inside
Nobody wants to know
I''m hollowed up inside
I cannot show
I won''t allow my weakness to glow
Nobody hears my cry behind the bolted doors
I''m all alone and chilled to the core
No blanket of truth
No pillow of hopefullness
Just a dark stale place
Full of pity and disgrace
I hear the echo from your mouth
The pain comes in but won''t spill out
The more you pour
The darker it gets
My doors, they won''t open
No matter how hard you try
It be a mystery of curiosity if you did
Because you can''t even hear my cry
Hollowed up inside
That nobody wants to know
and what I don''t care to show
Copyright ©
forgottensorrow
... [
2004-04-24 23:34:32]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Behind Bolted Doors
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Saturday, 24th April 2004 @ 11:44:39 PM AEST
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Very, very. very sad but written really well.
I think we all have doors inside.
luv, huggs, faith, hope,
emy |
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Re: Behind Bolted Doors
(User Rating: 1 )
by bobotheclown on
Saturday, 24th April 2004 @ 11:59:37 PM AEST
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very good at first I thought it said 'bottled doors' which made me confused, but 'bolted doors' makes more sense an excellent poem brimming with loneliness and pain. I loved it.
Bobo (Joel) |
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Re: Behind Bolted Doors
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 25th April 2004 @ 06:08:09 AM AEST
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You have conjured a fine analogy here.
I was particularly impressed by the following lines
"No blanket of truth
No pillow of hopefullness"
Those are the hallmark of someone with definite potential to write attractive, consistent poetry. I didn't find much fault with this poem, except in its rhyming structure (it seems a little sporadic). Apart from this, I found this to be an original and introspective write that encourages me to go look for more poems of yours.
Good write. |
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