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Over the Edge the Willing Fall
Contributed by
pyrofungus
on
Saturday, 24th April 2004 @ 02:42:48 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
The cries are much deeper than the marina trench
The hopes and dreams have been crushed like ice
The pieces have been lost and destroyed
Crumbles of fear have pierced the willing
Slightly off the edge they fall
Screaming and arms flowing into the air
The rocks below sharp and deadly
Waves crashing
Seagulls flying
Screams heard
People arrive
Two dead bodies lie below
The waves crash over them
Drifting them into the sea
Everyone stares
Everyone’s shocked
Two bodies floating
Divers search for the bodies of the willing
Never heard of or spoken to again
Copyright ©
pyrofungus
... [
2004-04-24 14:42:48]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Over the Edge the Willing Fall
(User Rating: 1 )
by bobotheclown on
Saturday, 24th April 2004 @ 02:56:49 PM AEST
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a Message)
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wow very good poem I liked your use of extensive imagery and how they were 'willing'
Bobo (Joel) |
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Re: Over the Edge the Willing Fall
(User Rating: 1 )
by lostinmyself on
Saturday, 24th April 2004 @ 03:03:03 PM AEST
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yeah, i have to agree with joel, there is some great imagery in this. i especially like the line "The hopes and dreams have been crushed like ice" great write. *hugs* phil xxx
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Re: Over the Edge the Willing Fall
(User Rating: 1 )
by fallensilence on
Saturday, 24th April 2004 @ 04:19:12 PM AEST
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| very well written. i'd have to agree with the past two comments. imagery is definately powerful and it offers a great picture. -david |
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