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stamp on my heart
Contributed by
lostinmyself
on
Friday, 23rd April 2004 @ 12:11:42 PM in AEST
Topic:
SadPoetry
|
i'm wearing my heart upon my sleeve,
can you see it there?
weeping? bleeding?
or is this love too blind to see?
do you even care that it's there?
dying because of your lies....
dripping with hurt of desire,
burning with pain,
loving to hate you,
hating to love you.
confusion running through the cracks...
blood seeping through the seems.
i've been here with you too many times....
i want this pain to leave,
just throw my heart on the floor
stamp on it as you walk away...
maybe the pain will end that way..
till i scrape it back of the floor...
Copyright ©
lostinmyself
... [
2004-04-23 12:11:42]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: stamp on my heart
(User Rating: 1 )
by blackmarker on
Friday, 23rd April 2004 @ 12:18:40 PM AEST
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Wonderfully done!
Only one thing, "blood seeping through the seems" should be "seams".
Great job. |
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Re: stamp on my heart
(User Rating: 1 )
by Leoniboge on
Friday, 23rd April 2004 @ 12:29:28 PM AEST
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You're so amazing at writing! Contradiction so forwardly, just begs questions.... (I hope that made sense- does to me, argh)... keep it up hun.... you're a great writer!
Leo xxXXxx |
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Re: stamp on my heart
(User Rating: 1 )
by Stitch on
Friday, 23rd April 2004 @ 12:49:07 PM AEST
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I know this feeling. I know it too well. You wish he would just tell you to go away so that you could. Part of the healing process I guess. More good stuff. Love the "confusion running through the cracks" line.
Stitch |
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Re: stamp on my heart
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Friday, 23rd April 2004 @ 12:55:23 PM AEST
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youve written well of the betrayal love can bring, beautifully expressed feelings, hugs n' love nessa
@->>->- |
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Re: stamp on my heart
(User Rating: 1 )
by Lost_Shadow on
Friday, 23rd April 2004 @ 01:03:04 PM AEST
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| It's a greatly written poem. Sounds similar to one of my friends poems, but alot of people write like that. Quite touching. |
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Re: stamp on my heart
(User Rating: 1 )
by Vitreous_Soul on
Saturday, 24th April 2004 @ 01:44:46 AM AEST
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Well, I have to give my full agreement on the feeling put across here. I love the subject matter! Dreary images, conveyed nicely. I definitely like this.
Hmmm, the only thing detracting is the lack of line breaks. It's all written as a big long paragraph, kinda disrupts the flow. But that's my only gripe--and it didn't keep me from enjoying it!
Truly,
-V.S. |
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Re: stamp on my heart
(User Rating: 1 )
by Remy on
Saturday, 24th April 2004 @ 02:36:17 PM AEST
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well now, this seems familiar - a played out theme, and yet a refreshing way of putting it. great writing! ;0)
~Remy~ |
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