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Guilty Conscience
Contributed by
Leoniboge
on
Friday, 23rd April 2004 @ 09:45:32 AM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
It tightens across her chest,
All rapt in guilt,
'Cause she remembers,
Walking slowly into that void,
While he held out his hand,
Dragged him in.
He too fell,
Shield became soft, easily torn,
Crate paper soul,
Heart turned plastic.
Forgot what it was to live,
Died for a little too long.
Swallowed in the crevice,
Too dark to see far,
Dilapidated shades of grey,
Took his sense of mind.
And she sits,
Tears roll down her made-up face,
Funeral song wains,
She'll never forget,
A time,
When she was little too self absorbed.
Copyright ©
Leoniboge
... [
2004-04-23 09:45:32]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Guilty Conscience
(User Rating: 1 )
by Black13 on
Friday, 23rd April 2004 @ 09:51:28 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| This was good. I like the wording and how it was structured. It shows the pain very well in perfect expression. Nicely done. |
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Re: Guilty Conscience
(User Rating: 1 )
by lostinmyself on
Friday, 23rd April 2004 @ 09:55:22 AM AEST
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| another great one hun, i love your poems :) *hugs* phil xxx |
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Re: Guilty Conscience
(User Rating: 1 )
by shelby on
Friday, 23rd April 2004 @ 10:31:19 AM AEST
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vivid I can feel the remores and guilt well done
michelle |
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Re: Guilty Conscience
(User Rating: 1 )
by Stitch on
Friday, 23rd April 2004 @ 10:34:35 AM AEST
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Goodness, this took me apart. What a write. You can't be my poem for today because I already picked one, but I pick this for tomorrow.
Stitch |
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