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About Rain, Earth Being Reborn And A Cat
Contributed by
New_York_Chick
on
Thursday, 22nd April 2004 @ 07:30:05 PM in AEST
Topic:
Haiku
|
*******.:~:.*******
Rain And The Sound Of Tears
The Burden Is Being Washed Away Right Now
A New Day Will Soon Come
*******.:~:.*******
Give Life To Another Being
Maybe Start Growing Tall In The Same Place
The Earth Is Being Reborn
*******.:~:.*******
[about my cat]
He Can't Speak My Language
But He Is Nice In His Special Way
He Is Never Rude To Me
*******.:~:.*******
Copyright ©
New_York_Chick
... [
2004-04-22 19:30:05]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: About Rain, Earth Being Reborn And A Cat
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jenni_Kalicharan on
Thursday, 22nd April 2004 @ 07:50:29 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Once again, you have some beautiful imagery here, but you have not used the format I sent you....
Keep trying....You'll get the 5-7-5 beat soon..
Jenni |
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Re: About Rain, Earth Being Reborn And A Cat
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jackee_line on
Thursday, 22nd April 2004 @ 08:12:28 PM AEST
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Very good, i enjoy reading haiku.
jenni's right, i should know ,I took her advice concerning haiku. |
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Re: About Rain, Earth Being Reborn And A Cat
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 22nd April 2004 @ 08:49:02 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Hi, nice little poems. Jenni is right, you forgot to adhere to the 5-7-5 syllable format. That is what makes a haiku and true haiku are always about nature or Japan, but that can be deviated from. Never deviate from the syllable arrangement of it is not haiku.
Rainbows,
Rita |
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Re: About Rain, Earth Being Reborn And A Cat
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Thursday, 22nd April 2004 @ 09:32:26 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| well, everyone told you how to improve, they are hard to write sometimes, keep writing though, your poetrys beautiful:) hugs n' love nessa |
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Re: About Rain, Earth Being Reborn And A Cat
(User Rating: 1 )
by OMEGA_ on
Friday, 23rd April 2004 @ 04:37:54 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| good writing |
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