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You and My Demon
Contributed by
chappy246
on
Tuesday, 20th April 2004 @ 11:48:46 AM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
I cling to you
Hoping, Praying
that you can cure the illness that
eats away at me
Like a demon it tears me up
Beating, punching, and kicking
my insides
To the naked eye I appear fine
but the internal wounds are fatal
Why don't you help me?
My grip on your hand is slipping
The fall into the darkness
will surely end me
Still though, you stand motionless
Why don't you help me!?!
Lonliness floods over me
My last hope has failed
I let go of your hand
As I am swallowed by the darkness
I watch you fade away
You didn't help me. . .
Copyright ©
chappy246
... [
2004-04-20 11:48:46]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: You and My Demon
(User Rating: 1 )
by little_genna on
Tuesday, 20th April 2004 @ 12:14:53 PM AEST
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a Message)
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may seem a little rough around the edges but it is a good first poem. you have conveyed alot of emotion in this. keep them coming and welcome to YPDC.
love and hugs
XgenX |
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Re: You and My Demon
(User Rating: 1 )
by Remy on
Tuesday, 20th April 2004 @ 01:48:00 PM AEST
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a Message)
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well this is good... don't worry about the edges, impressive for a first! ;0)
~Remy~ |
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Re: You and My Demon
(User Rating: 1 )
by Kie on
Tuesday, 20th April 2004 @ 03:07:34 PM AEST
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a Message)
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My first poem was HIDEOUS you have put me to shame. It is obvious that you are brimming with talent.
"Like a demon it tears me up
Beating, punching, and kicking
my insides
To the naked eye I appear fine
but the internal wounds are fatal"
This stanza was my favorite.
Oh and a warm welcome to YPDC!
Kie
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