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Out of Place
Contributed by
karibear
on
Monday, 19th April 2004 @ 06:29:17 AM in AEST
Topic:
LostLove
|
Today I hung the rose-colored curtains
in the bedroom we were to share.
No soft kisses on the back of my neck,
no arms wrapped around my waist,
no hands playfully moved up to grab my breast.
The curtains seemed out of place and so did I.
I laid on the bed I once made love to you in
and I cried.
I glanced up at the headboard as the tears fell,
in a heart I had etched was our names.
No steady breathing of yours to calm me,
no soft voice whispering in the dark,
no snore I always found adorable.
The heart seemed so out of place and so did I.
I clutched the pillow I used to dream on
and I sobbed.
I watched as the sun light up a pale blue sky
in greeting birds sang to the day.
No one to kiss me good morning,
no eyes to look into as I rolled over,
no warm chest to nuzzle before the alarm.
Their song seemed out of place and so did I.
I pulled the blanket that witnessed our passion
over my head and I wept.
Again I face another day of living without you
Another endless stretch of time
A thousand heartaches more
As I realize my dreams were fantasies
All that radiated from within has consumed me,
All I am left with is a wasteland inside.
It seems so out of place, yet the only place I belong.
Copyright ©
karibear
... [
2004-04-19 06:29:17]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Out of Place
(User Rating: 1 )
by Spike on
Monday, 19th April 2004 @ 07:58:25 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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Wow. I feel so subdued after reading this. The imagery was strong enough for me to feel as if I was in the room. The prose format was made rhythmic with the repeating line, almost a chorus but slightly changing each stanza. I hope this poem is a creative elegy based on snippets of loss and emotional pain. If it all comes from one big hurt, then bummer. Still, you've written a very touching and well-constructed tribute to lost love. My appreciation for sharing.
Spike
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Re: Out of Place
(User Rating: 1 )
by Dark_Mistress on
Monday, 19th April 2004 @ 09:32:47 AM AEST
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a Message)
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amazing.. this left me completely speechless..
It's beautiful- it tugged at my heart-strings. Your use of imagery made it all the more real..
Wow.. |
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Re: Out of Place
(User Rating: 1 )
by bobotheclown on
Monday, 19th April 2004 @ 12:59:05 PM AEST
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a Message)
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wow... this was so sad I am in awe. This was wonderfully written kudos to you for how accurately you penned the sadness. I hope you no longer feel like this and keep up the writing... your talent shines.
Bobo (Joel) |
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Re: Out of Place
(User Rating: 1 )
by Gurlnxtdor05 on
Monday, 19th April 2004 @ 08:13:13 PM AEST
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a Message)
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That was so real! I can totally relate to how you feel gurl. I've been some pretty ruff stuff, but this sounds really deep. Congrats on the great poem.
~*Angie*~ |
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