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Please
Contributed by
SensitiveSoAbused
on
Tuesday, 13th April 2004 @ 03:04:22 AM in AEST
Topic:
Suicide
|
Please,
I want to lie in a tub of boiling water
and slowly sever
every major vein and artery
in my body...
Please,
I want to turn the blender on Liquify
and shove my hands one by one
into the whirring blades.
I want to close my eyes and smile
as the blood
and flesh
and bone
splatter my face...
Please,
I want to sharpen a pencil
to razor's edge
and drive it into my eye
centimeter by centimeter
with Your Book of Love...
Please,
I want to grab a hammer
and shatter my kneecaps
and my toes
and my fingers
one by one...
Please,
I want to pour acid on my leg
and watch as it
eats, and burns, and bubbles,
watch as my flesh liquifies to a milky pus
mixed with my blood on the floor.
I want to revel in the sight
of my bare bone
as I break it at the knee...
and Please,
I want to tear my heart apart,
shred it to pieces
with rusty knives
and gasp as you shove
the hideous pulpy mess
sixteen inches down my throat
with a spiked mace...
..now do i want your love...
Please
Copyright ©
SensitiveSoAbused
... [
2004-04-13 03:04:22]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Please
(User Rating: 1 )
by Chade on
Tuesday, 13th April 2004 @ 04:18:08 AM AEST
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That well scary, dont do it tho, everything may seem crap now, but that is now, not the future.
Chade |
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Re: Please
(User Rating: 1 )
by Queen_Dolly on
Tuesday, 13th April 2004 @ 04:46:30 AM AEST
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Intriguing and quite frightening really.
Do you really want someone's love if they could cause you so much pain?
Queen_Dolly |
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Re: Please
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 13th April 2004 @ 06:05:23 AM AEST
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sheesh that's really dark and scary i have to say....
I like your imagination though...
Unique and original poem...
*thumbs up*
ok now I think I'll go to sleep and pray very hard that I won't get nightmares tonight cuz of ure poem *whimpers* |
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Re: Please
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jacktripper on
Tuesday, 13th April 2004 @ 07:29:43 AM AEST
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| Dark imagery an excellent way of scaring your audience. The please is a welcome a come in kind of lingo into the world of love an hell. You described methods of torture as a personification of being in love. Each excerpt can be read into detail. I notice in each one you break apart and then smash it. Because a lover tends to open your life then enters your life and then hurts you or leaves you. Excellent poem very dark but intent and the message is clear love sucks. |
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Re: Please
(User Rating: 0 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 13th April 2004 @ 09:53:29 AM AEST
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It was very moving...I posted a poem can you read it, please?? It's called A cry out to someone very special....
MissLee(I'm sorry) |
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Re: Please
(User Rating: 1 )
by Arius-Inues on
Tuesday, 13th April 2004 @ 09:53:32 AM AEST
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I have to agree with all the comments posted above, but mostly the one directly above. Please dont do this, but over all an exelent wright! Keep wrighting good poems!
Arius-Inues(Tony) |
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Re: Please
(User Rating: 1 )
by deathdrop on
Tuesday, 13th April 2004 @ 10:14:08 AM AEST
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| i found this deeply scary, but good. |
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Re: Please
(User Rating: 1 )
by lostinmyself on
Tuesday, 13th April 2004 @ 12:28:57 PM AEST
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dont do it. this actually scared me....then again, i think you know that... very graphic write.
"suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem"
phil |
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