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Untitled...have any idea's?
Contributed by
setting_in_the_sun
on
Saturday, 10th April 2004 @ 10:27:52 AM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
Lay down, your head, it's gunna be alright,
No more, bad dreams,
we're gunna win this fight.
Stress filled, days of,
nothing but your thoughts,
Tired, of crying, because of their remarks.
Every night, I know it's, hard to sleep,
Just look to your, heart,
and dream one sweet dream,
No hurtful comments, no one being mean,
One day, of happiness, thats all, you need.
You're so tired of your life, tired of your sorrow,
Thinking you're so pitiful,
you wish for better tomorrow's,
Laying down, your pillow wet, as you wipe
tear stains from your cheeks,
No one has to live like this,
you sit there asking "Why me!"
Stand there, don't cry, smile on and on,
Don't let, anyone, know that somethings
wrong,
Then at night, everything comes out,
your ever flowing tears,
You just can't take it, sound waves,
comments...just pounding in your ears.
You don't have to take it,
but you just can't seem to set yourself free,
Strong yet, so weak, "No one listens to me!"
Your voice, can't be heard,
you struggle to speak up,
People just ignore you,
when you try to say what's wrong.
Stress filled...agony,
words hurt, but silence kills.
Speak up, child...
or you'll never get what you need,
No more tears, find your way,
it may seem dark,
but you'll find the light,
Just stand, your ground, you'll be alright,
no more, bad dreams,
just don't give up on life.
Copyright ©
setting_in_the_sun
... [
2004-04-10 10:27:52]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Untitled...have any idea's?
(User Rating: 1 )
by face-in-the-crowd on
Saturday, 10th April 2004 @ 10:49:31 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
| I'm not the best at naming things but the first thing that came to mind for this was Can't Take It. Hmm.......I don't know. Like I said, I'm not the best at naming things. |
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Re: Untitled...have any idea's?
(User Rating: 1 )
by emphaticplacebo on
Saturday, 10th April 2004 @ 11:34:22 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
| Great write, very emotional. When I read it, I thought the title should be 'The Child's Plight', but thats just my viewpoint..Great Work! |
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Re: Untitled...have any idea's?
(User Rating: 1 )
by Baronhawk on
Saturday, 10th April 2004 @ 11:44:09 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
A tittle?? how about this... "Lay down you head upon my shoulders" or " Lay down your head upon this pillow". The power is yours...CAPTAIN POETRY!...LOL ha ha ha ha a pun on Captain Planet the cartoon series.
By the way a very sad sob story but with a comforting touch!..
Nice write! |
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Re: Untitled...have any idea's?
(User Rating: 1 )
by jmt25607 on
Saturday, 10th April 2004 @ 11:10:11 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
| i think i got a good title but am no good at make stuff up but try " i'm wishing you win this fight" or "i'm wishing yoube alright" or "dont stop believeing" well i gave my best and this is a great poem and it desevers the best but i dont think mien is good enothen but i tryed |
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