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Carousal Carousel
Contributed by
EternitysLyre
on
Saturday, 10th April 2004 @ 07:32:01 AM in AEST
Topic:
Patriotic
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“Work and drink, drink and work!
Spend your money on your mirth!
Live a day and live today
Live it all—we live to play!”
The merry din was sweeter than the mead upon his tongue
A pearly song resounding by the silver lips it sung
In life’s relaxed cacophony his grin forever grew
His pleasure wrought in lies of gold
His breath knew not ague.
Hearty party drugs the crowd who slumps upon the table
Living disappeared aloft as drunk men dreamed their fables
Captivated, mindless moths all rushing toward the flame
In willing fetters
They knew no better
Each time it was the same
(Life and death, death and work!
Waste your lifespan brewing mirth!
Die a day—Don’t die today
You’ve never lived
Just drink away!)
And when belov'ed smile takes its toll upon their shoulders
The wrinkles steal their strength away and winter eves seem colder
They’ll never understand the ring
They’ll walk the walk
And talk the talk
While deathbeds tuck in spring.
Among the buoyant blasphemy will sink the sordid screams
Along flamboyant rhapsodies still rink draw morbid dreams.
A strong yet hopeless sailor searching all the in-betweens
"Dewey here got bit by snow
Alfred Spangle didn’t know
Leo’s heart bore not the row
Derek sank a bit too low"
As smiles come
And smiles go
The icy breeze of age still blows
The song of mirthless valor perching calls the broken greens
“And lies make tries subside in seas
Where nothing's as it seems.”
~ The Grim Reaper
Copyright ©
EternitysLyre
... [
2004-04-10 07:32:01]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Carousal Carousel
(User Rating: 1 )
by Vitreous_Soul on
Saturday, 10th April 2004 @ 07:59:43 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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Your observations on the monotony of the world around you are something I have to agree with.
"(Life and death, death and work!
Waste your lifespan brewing mirth!
Die a day—Don’t die today
You’ve never lived
Just drink away!)"
I especially like that part, quite a bit really. After reading this (and your other works for that matter), I have just one question...
Why aren't you published in a book yet?!? You have everything in place, the vocabulary, the emotion, the technicality, the professional level of polish...It seems a crime that you aren't known throughout the world and respected (and admired) by your peers. I'd personally love to see your work published soon.
Yes, I think you are THAT good.
Truly,
-V.S.
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Re: Carousal Carousel
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 10th April 2004 @ 08:04:17 AM AEST
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*applauds*
Now this I like. Just logged in with a stupendous hangover and find this rather ironic gem awaiting me.
I'll just go ahead and bookmark this one, as I know I can refer to its rhythmic polish for a modicum of inspiration now and again . . .
Flawlessly done, in my opinion . . . |
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Re: Carousal Carousel
(User Rating: 1 )
by silent on
Saturday, 10th April 2004 @ 08:27:16 AM AEST
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a Message)
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My heads spinning after that one
I won't comment much, too good for my words. 10 stars... :) |
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Re: Carousal Carousel
(User Rating: 1 )
by Baronhawk on
Saturday, 10th April 2004 @ 09:39:57 AM AEST
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A rather interesthing title post read.. drawn to it I was.. but in post conditions I might have to grant this a reprieve. Truly a carousel is the enigmatic descriptor of life but in some ways this was a jumble a mess... but perchance it was a group write. Which explains the lack of focus. That being said I must confess reading this poem really made my head spin rather like actually being on a carousel it is. So mixed emotions on this here write...but then again I am more partial to orderly structures and the delination of titles and prose. To each their own I guess... over all an intriuging but mixed imagery write.
Sorry to ask but perchance was this a drunken write upon the carousel of a hangover...LOL Ha haa haa haaa haa sorry just kidding had to ask...ha ha ha ha. Carousel oh carousel indeed! |
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Re: Carousal Carousel
(User Rating: 1 )
by STRaNGe_LiNDSeY on
Saturday, 17th April 2004 @ 03:20:03 PM AEST
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Eternitys... I am speechless. This was masterful. My favorite lines were:
"Among the buoyant blasphemy will sink the sordid screams
Along flamboyant rhapsodies still rink draw morbid dreams.
A strong yet hopeless sailor searching all the in-betweens"
That just says it all. Very VERY VERY gracefully done and a joy to read. Thank you.
Lindsey
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