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Mistaken
Contributed by
Funny_Pants
on
Tuesday, 6th April 2004 @ 03:13:04 PM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
I think you've been mistaken
for your love is taken
Another fool has stolen
and your heart is swolen
The pounding in your chest
is worse than all the rest
'cause without your love confessed
your meeting won't be blessed
The feeling of depression
occurs from an obsession
from your lack of posession
damn the whole precession
My life has been explained
My feelings here exclaimed
Love is lost and claimed
My picture here is framed
....and no one else is blamed
Copyright ©
Funny_Pants
... [
2004-04-06 15:13:04] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Mistaken
(User Rating: 1 ) by arden on
Tuesday, 6th April 2004 @ 03:19:51 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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i like this and also like the rhyme. very well done. keep it up.
Arden |
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Re: Mistaken
(User Rating: 1 ) by Jellybellyprincess on
Tuesday, 6th April 2004 @ 03:22:52 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Those last two stanzas have wonderful rhyming. That's tough to do (I usually can only pull of a couple of rhymes to a word.) Well done!
The rhyming kind of grows and spreads too, which I like. Goes from 2 to 4 to 4 complex ones to 5 all in a row. Very nice =)
I hope brighter days come your way ; )
Love,
Ellen |
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Re: Mistaken
(User Rating: 1 ) by SmurfettOfPoems on
Tuesday, 6th April 2004 @ 03:27:55 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Hi, I think your full of talent in writing, its amazin how you can find a rhyme that makes sense for every line you write. Keep it up |
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