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The True Canvas
Contributed by
desireemiote
on
Tuesday, 6th April 2004 @ 09:16:50 AM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
A mask upon the ground
My new face to the world
Discarded cover for true
This time I’ll do it right
My new face to the world
A humble patchwork of neon colors
This time I’ll do it right
No cloaking of beauty or disfigurement
A humble patchwork of neon colors
Grabbing attention of the other masks
No cloaking of beauty or disfigurement
Astonishment glowing rouge through covers
Grabbing attention of the other masks
Some ripped from faces in painful exposure
Astonishment glowing rouge through covers
Sealing the bond of those masks still worn
Some ripped from faces in painful exposure
A raw crimson canvas of dripping wounds
Sealing the bond of those masks still worn
The heat of fear sealing fate secretly
A raw crimson canvas of dripping wounds
Hues must be created from scratch
The heat of fear sealing fate secretly
Molding to the masking insecurity
Hues must be created from scratch
Unidentified variations of previous pallets
Molding to the masking insecurity
Never to freely release the inner-self
Unidentified variations of previous pallets
Solely whole completed work am I
Never to freely release he inner-self
My canvas fully painted and exposed
Solely whole completed work am I
Discarded cover for true
My canvas fully painted and exposed
A mask upon the ground
Copyright ©
desireemiote
... [
2004-04-06 09:16:50]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: The True Canvas
(User Rating: 1 )
by Stitch on
Tuesday, 6th April 2004 @ 10:25:26 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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Some really nice stuff here. I like the mask upon the ground image and the canvas fully painted and exposed. I'd focus on the most colorful phrases and try not to say quite as much directly. Just a thought.
Stitch |
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Re: The True Canvas
(User Rating: 1 )
by kidpoet_213 on
Tuesday, 6th April 2004 @ 03:58:30 PM AEST
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a Message)
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I love the way this is written... taking the 2nd line of every stanza to start the next... then using the last line of every stanza as the 3rd line of the next... neat concept... wonderfully written... I also like how it come full circle from the start.
~Donna~ |
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