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Striptease
Contributed by
Hurretje
on
Monday, 5th April 2004 @ 03:25:23 AM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
As I watch you
You show off
Your dark features covered in shining jewels
Dancing so slowly
Sensual glancing
And myriad winks
As to expose your deepest secrets
You most intimate virtues
Your hiddent treasures
You reveal more and more
In this never ending striptease
Layer after layer
You make my craving grow
Tormenting
Aching
Begging
But never will I see
Who you really are
Behind the stars
Copyright ©
Hurretje
... [
2004-04-05 03:25:23]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Striptease
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 5th April 2004 @ 03:28:05 AM AEST
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yeah i'll go for sensual but would have preffered indecent!. nice write.
wildejohnny. |
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Re: Striptease
(User Rating: 1 )
by loveisendless on
Monday, 5th April 2004 @ 03:41:40 AM AEST
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SOMETIMES YOU CAN'T SEE THE WHOLE PICTURE! MAYBE IT'S FOR THE BETTER!!
COOL POEM!!!
DAN!!!! |
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Re: Striptease
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Monday, 5th April 2004 @ 04:03:50 AM AEST
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Very good !
Very intense!
luv, huggs,
emy |
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Re: Striptease
(User Rating: 1 )
by Avarice_Riot on
Monday, 5th April 2004 @ 04:04:02 AM AEST
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| Definitely sensual, and I liked the twist at the end. Great write as usual. |
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Re: Striptease
(User Rating: 1 )
by silent on
Monday, 5th April 2004 @ 05:53:20 AM AEST
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Nice one :) Nothing wrong with a little indecency, lol
Silent |
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Re: Striptease
(User Rating: 1 )
by Rakerman1999 on
Monday, 5th April 2004 @ 08:32:49 AM AEST
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The best writes are those that let the imagination do the work, as this one did.
Very well done
Larry |
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Re: Striptease
(User Rating: 1 )
by shelby on
Monday, 5th April 2004 @ 09:01:44 AM AEST
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well done
michelle |
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Re: Striptease
(User Rating: 1 )
by mountainhigh on
Monday, 5th April 2004 @ 11:22:28 AM AEST
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Good write, and a great thought, know not the package by the wrapping.
Thanks for sharing. |
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Re: Striptease
(User Rating: 1 )
by arden on
Monday, 5th April 2004 @ 06:58:18 PM AEST
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nicely done. i really like this. keep it up.
Arden |
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Re: Striptease
(User Rating: 1 )
by venkat on
Tuesday, 6th April 2004 @ 06:43:28 AM AEST
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| I agree with Rakerman. I feel there is no indecency. but for the painting of sensual beauty..welldone. venkat |
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Re: Striptease
(User Rating: 1 )
by JennyFruFru on
Tuesday, 6th April 2004 @ 09:20:28 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| you definatly painted a very mysterious image.... nice work... :) |
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Re: Striptease
(User Rating: 1 )
by Thivanka on
Friday, 16th April 2004 @ 07:31:27 AM AEST
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GREAT! a good mood stabilizer, I liked this one.
-Thivanka |
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Re: Striptease
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Friday, 23rd April 2004 @ 01:24:33 PM AEST
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| it all seems like you are writing about what your experiencing until the ending; which makes it seem dreamlike.... wonderful poem:) hugs n' love nessa |
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Re: Striptease
(User Rating: 1 )
by AEWorricker on
Monday, 23rd August 2010 @ 04:26:18 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| Great write - love "myriad winks" |
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