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I care...
Contributed by
Xion_alXar
on
Sunday, 4th April 2004 @ 03:05:22 PM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
I care so very much,
And it feels like such,
A longing.
I do'nt mind this feeling,
But I need someone that returns it,
I know that we are not an exact fit,
But no one is perfect.
I think that we clicked,
When we first met,
But here we're not together yet.
With how we are this is no suprise,
And yet we need to rise,
Above our friendship,
Into a higher relationship.
I know there are friends to think about,
And they would probaboly pout.
Summer isn't so very far,
We could wait till then to cross that bar.
Even knowing that you care,
Would raise me into the air.
You know I would do,
whatever you wish too.
So please tell me,
What I need to see.
Copyright ©
Xion_alXar
... [
2004-04-04 15:05:22] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: I care...
(User Rating: 1 ) by lonelywolf04 on
Thursday, 8th April 2004 @ 01:10:59 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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u do some deep stuff man |
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Re: I care...
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 6th July 2004 @ 03:45:36 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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"We could wait till then to cross that bar"
You forced that unnecessarily. You could have used 'far', but then again, you needn't have used any rhyme in what constitutes a love letter. I find that these kinds of poems work best in free verse . . .
Keep writing - and tell your classmate to change the record, he seems to be stuck on the same line of commentary . . . |
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