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Guillotine
Contributed by
Avarice_Riot
on
Sunday, 4th April 2004 @ 10:12:06 AM in AEST
Topic:
AngryPoetry
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It comes to this
Me, seeking refuge behind
the bed of a fallen friend
You, sporting a false identity
Smoking weed with your
new brethren
Him, speaking from beyond
the dead
Each separated by the
invisible guillotine
That threatens to take
those still remaining.
And where, where did we all go wrong?
Is this the price we have to pay for death?
Who's going to let the guillotine fall next?
I sculpted patterns in my skin
with that sharply soothing blade
While you tried to heal your grief
Wearing a mask
We both knew we were so near
Yet so far away
Still so far away.
But I hung on to my roots
But now you've sold us out
You played the fiddle of betrayal
So you tell me
Was it me who took the wrong path
Or was it you?
It comes to this
All the unbidden pain from a traitor
Rest in a bed of nails and betrayal
And before I close these doors of mine
I just want to ask you
One last question.
Do you think
Do you think he would have wanted you
to do this?
Copyright ©
Avarice_Riot
... [
2004-04-04 10:12:06] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Guillotine
(User Rating: 1 ) by lostinmyself on
Sunday, 4th April 2004 @ 10:16:58 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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wow, this is sad, and angry. i love it. a great write. ive felt this pain too. im losing friends so easily recently and like you i think
"Was it me who took the wrong path
Or was it you?"
i love those lines. phil xxx |
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Re: Guillotine
(User Rating: 1 ) by JadedExistence on
Sunday, 4th April 2004 @ 10:19:27 AM AEST (User
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This is really good. The worst is questioning where it happened and who's fault it is. I've been through that before and i still don't know how it happened.
~JadedExistence~ |
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Re: Guillotine
(User Rating: 1 ) by silent on
Sunday, 4th April 2004 @ 10:21:25 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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I don't have a clear picture obviously but it was excellently written as usual by you. I hope if the person you are directing it at ever reads it, some remorse shall they feel i hope.
Silent |
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Re: Guillotine
(User Rating: 1 ) by Kie on
Sunday, 4th April 2004 @ 10:42:57 AM AEST (User
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I could just feel your emotions flowing strongly from this poem. If you ever need someone to talk to let me know, okay? I loved your poem and you write extremely well.... Kie |
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Re: Guillotine
(User Rating: 1 ) by Rakerman1999 on
Sunday, 4th April 2004 @ 12:31:06 PM AEST (User
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Seething with bitterness and betrayal.....outstanding work. |
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Re: Guillotine
(User Rating: 1 ) by Rakerman1999 on
Sunday, 4th April 2004 @ 12:34:10 PM AEST (User
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Seething with bitterness and betrayal.....outstanding work.
Roses...I almost forgot the roses
Larry |
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Re: Guillotine
(User Rating: 1 ) by Baronhawk on
Sunday, 4th April 2004 @ 01:35:29 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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~O! betrayal
that familiar song
sung by fallen angels
and hearts ripped apart and torn.~
Very powerfully felt work on betrayal. I relived for once a betrayal that I bore the brunt of not quite long ago.. mayhaps I should'nt thank you for this but this is a poem that I can truly appreciate...
dark and brooding!
very nice write!
~I just hope your woulds would scab
and your scars would heal
for betrayal, that heart-wrenching stab
is a terrible thing to feel.~ |
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Re: Guillotine
(User Rating: 1 ) by Justalady on
Sunday, 4th April 2004 @ 01:54:47 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Anger eats at the soul and you've expressed a way to let go by asking questions... even if you never find the answer.
Justalady |
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Re: Guillotine
(User Rating: 1 ) by Necromant on
Sunday, 4th April 2004 @ 04:21:57 PM AEST (User
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I can feel angeer radiating from this poem. Awesome write! Can't explain in words how much I apriciate this poem! Hope this person realises how much pain he/she caused!
Anne :D |
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Re: Guillotine
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Monday, 5th April 2004 @ 03:20:02 AM AEST (User
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the feeling of betrayal is such a gut wrenching feeling.
good powerful poem
wildejohnny. |
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Re: Guillotine
(User Rating: 1 ) by Hurretje on
Monday, 5th April 2004 @ 04:25:43 AM AEST (User
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Haunting and cutting! A straight A++ for this one!
Hur |
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Re: Guillotine
(User Rating: 1 ) by DreamWeaver on
Monday, 5th April 2004 @ 06:14:47 AM AEST (User
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An excellent write that asks many questions but expresses how anguished you feel over their betrayal ... I truly hope you find some peace in the end ... Jan |
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Re: Guillotine
(User Rating: 1 ) by venkat on
Tuesday, 6th April 2004 @ 02:28:47 AM AEST (User
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emotional as well as strikingly sad and beautiful..excellent....venkat |
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Re: Guillotine
(User Rating: 1 ) by alecfernadez on
Wednesday, 7th April 2004 @ 03:28:27 PM AEST (User
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This is really really brilliant, I love the kinda gothic nogalistic french revolution style, its just makes this poem fantastic in every way and its a real intreguing read |
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Re: Guillotine
(User Rating: 0 ) by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 7th April 2004 @ 11:12:15 PM AEST (User
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What are friends anyway? They build you up so they can tear you down. I've had too many stupid time wasting friendships and this poem hit close to home. The anger you potrayed so well. |
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Re: Guillotine
(User Rating: 0 ) by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 7th April 2004 @ 11:14:17 PM AEST (User
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The above comment is mine, I forgot to log in.
~blueheart |
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