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Darkness
Contributed by
DarkAngel89
on
Saturday, 3rd April 2004 @ 01:30:12 PM in AEST
Topic:
selfstruggles
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Darkness closes in around me
Smothers me with despair.
I huddle in a ball
Covering my head.
The dark seems to laugh at me
Seems to mock and ridicule me.
It shouts at me, tells me I’m a fool
I know it’s right.
I can’t escape from all the hurt
Can’t escape from all the pain.
Too long I tried to hide from it
Tried hiding from reality.
Reality has found me
Drawn me into its cruel nature.
It forces on the anguish
Tries to make me fall.
Out of the despair I cry out
Desperate for help.
No one comes to help me
I curl in a ball and sob.
No one cares
No one notices.
They see what’s on the outside
The pleasant smiling face.
They have no idea what goes on inside
They don’t see the dark.
The shadows creep across my wall, across my bed
No one notices.
The wind wails and ferociously yells
No one hears.
The fire roars and smoke clouds my vision
No one smells the smoke.
The flame inside me that should be burning is slowly fading
Slowly dying.
I fear the day when it flickers out
I fear it will come too soon.
Everyone and everything around me is changing
But not changing for the good.
I reach and reach, desperate for a hand to help me up
But no one comes, no one reaches, no one takes it seriously.
I cower in those shadows
My fear is overwhelming.
I stand in that wind
Screaming and knowing no one will hear me.
I feel that fire
Slowly burning my skin away, charring to the bone.
The scars had once hidden themselves away
But are now reappearing.
Events have created more
I’ve got more physical and mental scars than imaginable.
I slide down the hill
Sliding towards the sullen unlit pit at the bottom.
I hopelessly try to scramble up the hill, my hands scraping to whatever I can find
But each attempt slips me further.
No one realizes, they’re too busy; life is full of hassles
It doesn’t matter.
The mournful wail of the wind beckons to me
Wants me to surrender.
I don’t want to surrender to the demon
To the sinister voices of desperation.
The dim light inside me wants to burn
Wants to live on forever.
But the light can’t breathe
Can’t find oxygen.
The darkness continues to conceal
As the light continues to fade.
Darkness is the only thing that seems to want me
Seems to hold a place for me.
I don’t seem to fit any other place
Don’t seem to fit with other people.
People say I’ve lost who I really am
I think they are right.
How can I find myself in the dark
Find myself with no search light, no light at all?
I tremble with terror as I come closer and closer to bottom
Desperate for any help at all.
I should be able to do it on my own
But I’m not strong enough to pull myself up.
I wish I were who I used to be
But that person is long gone.
That person got lost somewhere
Somewhere between heartbreak and fights.
Somewhere between cry after cry
Insult after insult.
That person didn’t want to hurt anymore
Didn’t want anymore pain.
But neither does this one
And wants the old one back.
The bleak outlook is all I have left
I don’t even have a tear anymore.
Even if I want to cry I can’t
All my tears are gone.
They’re all used up
And it doesn’t get me anywhere.
Holding back on what I really feel is the only option for me
My anxieties got the better of me, and now the fear controls me.
The darkness shuts in on me
Creating a giant shield.
It wants to take me
Wants to devour me.
Don’t let the darkness ensnare me
Don’t let it win.
I’m my only army
My army is not strong enough.
I want to fight back so bad
But I’ve tried.
I’ve tried all things imaginable
They don’t work.
My greatest fear is controlling me
Taking me over.
My greatest fear
Darkness.
Copyright ©
DarkAngel89
... [
2004-04-03 13:30:12]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Darkness
(User Rating: 1 )
by Pyrofungus on
Saturday, 3rd April 2004 @ 01:50:18 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
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wow this poem really speaks to me...I was having most of the same feelings as you....I couldn't cry anymore either. "And it doesn’t get me anywhere." Yup when I was able to cry It never made me feel better... "Everyone and everything around me is changing
But not changing for the good." That line is so true! This poem is just an amazing piece of art good job!
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