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Welcome !	Home · FAQ · Topics · Web Links · Your Account · Submit Poetry · Top 30 · OldSite Link	22-November 10:47:17 AEST

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wHiSpErS

Contributed by PoOkSiE on Friday, 2nd April 2004 @ 09:53:36 PM in AEST
Topic: DarkPoetry

touche my lips and kiss my cheak
tell me those poetic words i love to hear
but can you deciple the venmous whispers?
do you feel the hot breath on your ear?

and now that you look around
are the walls closing in?
can you feel the finger nails on your neck,
digging into your skin?

can you feel thier hands around you?
are they yours or are they mine?
do you know what it is you've done?
can you distinguish the dirty crime?

listen to the laughing
as you stumble back and fall
searching for the bottle
disobeying the demons call

your making them angry
they want your freshly cut skin
dripping untouched blood
caoxed with deadly sin

can you feel the clock, it's ticking
the demons hear your heart
filled with lost desire,
love no longer part

Copyright © PoOkSiE ... [ 2004-04-02 21:53:36]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: wHiSpErS (User Rating: 1 )
by Whisper on Saturday, 3rd April 2004 @ 01:47:16 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

I really enjoyed that. I have one suggestion
If I may. Effect is ...I thought would end like this....
"searching for the bottle
disobeying the demons call
CAN you feel the clock, it's ticking
the demons hear....yada yadayada..
....yada yada yada..longer part

YOUR making them angry
they want ....yadayayada...
and etc. :-)"

and end it thinking... what secert sin? I like your style.

Whisper

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