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Can YOU?
Contributed by
strange_lindsey
on
Thursday, 1st April 2004 @ 06:52:17 AM in AEST
Topic:
AngryPoetry
|
Can you see what I see?
Darkness, no light
White walls, all around
Small space, claustrophobic
Can you see?
Can you hear what I hear?
No silence, loud noise
Mouths screaming, all around
Loud noises, Deafening
Can you hear?
Can you taste what I taste?
Blood, As it runs
In my throat, all around
Choking me, I'm Drowning
Can you taste?
Can you smell what I smell?
Death, So close
In my head, all around
It echoes, The Aromas
Can you smell?
Can you feel what I feel?
Pain, My whole body
From your hands, all around
In Agony, Destruction
Can you feel?
Copyright ©
strange_lindsey
... [
2004-04-01 06:52:17] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Can YOU?
(User Rating: 1 ) by Vitreous_Soul on
Thursday, 1st April 2004 @ 06:59:30 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Wow, such a tortured write---and spanning all the senses in a morose yet captivating way. The darkness portrayed here is superceded only by the skill with which it is written. Magnificent, original, it's got it all.
Truly,
-Dan |
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Re: Can YOU?
(User Rating: 0 ) by Former_Member on
Thursday, 1st April 2004 @ 07:05:11 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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I feel, and smell and taste and walk hand in hand, you have expressed my inner thoughts in this poem.. Thank you |
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Re: Can YOU?
(User Rating: 1 ) by forever_lonely on
Thursday, 1st April 2004 @ 08:06:55 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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I second dans comment on this one, the darkness and pain expressed within these words matches the talent of the writer, a pure joy to read, very inspirational, i love the imagery within the words, the whole poem just seemed to flow from start to end, so i re read it, and it was even better than the first time, so far ive read it about 12 times :D
Luke |
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Re: Can YOU?
(User Rating: 1 ) by bobotheclown on
Thursday, 1st April 2004 @ 08:43:44 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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wow this touched me deeply... I've been there before... loved it all.
Bobo (Joel) |
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Re: Can YOU?
(User Rating: 1 ) by Saitou-sama on
Thursday, 1st April 2004 @ 11:45:56 PM AEST (User
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This was really good. The first thought that came to mind though, was that Christmas song. You know, "Do you hear what I hear?" |
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Re: Can YOU?
(User Rating: 1 ) by ShadowDaughter on
Saturday, 3rd April 2004 @ 08:25:22 PM AEST (User
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I just love the way you worded this . . . so elegantly done and very trademark-YOU.
--Nora |
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Re: Can YOU?
(User Rating: 1 ) by Thivanka on
Sunday, 11th April 2004 @ 06:48:49 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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I really do enjoy your dar poems madam, they are really absorbing.
-Thivanka |
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