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Emergency,Call
Contributed by
cheech
on
Tuesday, 30th March 2004 @ 06:01:21 PM in AEST
Topic:
AngryPoetry
|
save your quarter,save it for someone
who might actually care,cuz i'm
sick of you and your lazy
***** *****,get the ***** off my coutch
everytime you light your smoke
we all know whats to come
(children crying,dogs barking,sounds of flaming burning
and parents flipping out)
emergency,call 911,our house is burning
down,the ***** killed us once again
emergency,call 911,you guys might as
well not even show up,we're already dead
you're so lazy,you haven't worked a
day in your life in the past 36
***** years,you're unresponsible,unreliable
you're so pathetic,you're a grade 8 drop out
here i am only 15 years old,making
something of myself,you've made
something of course,you made a *****
*****,who's ungreatful,lazy and a drunk
emergency,call 911,our house is burning
down,the ***** killed us once again
emergency,call 911,you guys might as
well not even show up,we're already dead
Copyright ©
cheech
... [
2004-03-30 18:01:21]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Emergency,Call
(User Rating: 1 )
by Baronhawk on
Tuesday, 30th March 2004 @ 06:34:40 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Truthfully rather too angry for my taste... I liked darker hued poetry but less of an angry shout/rant like this with more poetic grace perhaps...but that being said.. you have quite an emotional outburst..a rather powerful piece of work..less swearing would make the meaning clearer perhaps.
Can't say I like it but it is a powerful work nonetheless....to each their own...I guess |
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Re: Emergency,Call
(User Rating: 0 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 31st March 2004 @ 07:27:03 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
I agree with the swearing part but also it seems the more emphasis is put on rage it appears to me to deintensify the effect. But that being said it is a true and very angry but justified write. Only my opion though.
Nice one anyway. |
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Re: Emergency,Call
(User Rating: 1 )
by AliB on
Wednesday, 31st March 2004 @ 09:40:31 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Well I thought this was a great poem, sounds to me like you have every right to be angry, whoever you are talking about sounds very selfish and arrogant.
Ali xx |
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