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The Beast

Contributed by Avis_Nigra on Tuesday, 30th March 2004 @ 04:31:11 AM in AEST
Topic: fictional



My smile
gentle as the breeze
"cute" You call me
laughter and giggles

today
on that green meadow
in the sun's smiling rays

his claws
like razor blades
tear her skin

her life
all red
is trickling
into the ground

My touch
soft like velvet on Your skin
words of affection whispered
sounds of passion heard

today
on that green meadow
in the sun's smiling rays

his fangs
like daggers
pierce her flesh

her soul
all white
is whining
into the sky


My kiss
is his

You will have
her death

tonite
on that grey meadow
under the moon's dispassionate glance




Copyright © Avis_Nigra ... [ 2004-03-30 04:31:11]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: The Beast (User Rating: 1 )
by Necromant on Tuesday, 30th March 2004 @ 05:00:16 AM AEST
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What a creepy poem! Awesomely written!! Keep it up!
Anne :D


Re: The Beast (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Tuesday, 30th March 2004 @ 05:05:21 AM AEST
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I like the way you wrote this. Its beastly undertone is quite jarring, being offset against the tranquility of its envelop - It really works well. Nice idea. Vivid and sinister write.
Well done.


Re: The Beast (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Tuesday, 30th March 2004 @ 05:28:38 AM AEST
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awesome it sounds a little bipolar like me lol


Re: The Beast (User Rating: 1 )
by parkman on Tuesday, 30th March 2004 @ 06:13:51 AM AEST
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Enjyed the style this was written in, made you want to read it , nicely done


Re: The Beast (User Rating: 1 )
by Avarice_Riot on Tuesday, 30th March 2004 @ 06:17:56 AM AEST
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Wow....that gave me goosebumps. Well-written and intense.


Re: The Beast (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Wednesday, 7th April 2004 @ 06:03:49 PM AEST
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scary and chilling well done.

wildejohnny.




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