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The Beast
Contributed by
Avis_Nigra
on
Tuesday, 30th March 2004 @ 04:31:11 AM in AEST
Topic:
fictional
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My smile
gentle as the breeze
"cute" You call me
laughter and giggles
today
on that green meadow
in the sun's smiling rays
his claws
like razor blades
tear her skin
her life
all red
is trickling
into the ground
My touch
soft like velvet on Your skin
words of affection whispered
sounds of passion heard
today
on that green meadow
in the sun's smiling rays
his fangs
like daggers
pierce her flesh
her soul
all white
is whining
into the sky
My kiss
is his
You will have
her death
tonite
on that grey meadow
under the moon's dispassionate glance
Copyright ©
Avis_Nigra
... [
2004-03-30 04:31:11] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: The Beast
(User Rating: 1 ) by Necromant on
Tuesday, 30th March 2004 @ 05:00:16 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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What a creepy poem! Awesomely written!! Keep it up!
Anne :D |
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Re: The Beast
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 30th March 2004 @ 05:05:21 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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I like the way you wrote this. Its beastly undertone is quite jarring, being offset against the tranquility of its envelop - It really works well. Nice idea. Vivid and sinister write.
Well done. |
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Re: The Beast
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 30th March 2004 @ 05:28:38 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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awesome it sounds a little bipolar like me lol |
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Re: The Beast
(User Rating: 1 ) by parkman on
Tuesday, 30th March 2004 @ 06:13:51 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Enjyed the style this was written in, made you want to read it , nicely done |
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Re: The Beast
(User Rating: 1 ) by Avarice_Riot on
Tuesday, 30th March 2004 @ 06:17:56 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Wow....that gave me goosebumps. Well-written and intense. |
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Re: The Beast
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 7th April 2004 @ 06:03:49 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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scary and chilling well done.
wildejohnny. |
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