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Untitled
Contributed by
Cobalt
on
Monday, 29th March 2004 @ 01:11:20 AM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
The telephone brought only silence
when you reached to touch me again.
Your head falls to your hands
when my words are ringing through.
My whole world it brought me down
and all I knew got drugged and drown.
My life won't leave me be
as the silence escalates.
No one left to ask where I've gone
when my world comes crashing down.
And when you left my world froze
so come on back and take my hand.
Raven's Sin
Copyright ©
Cobalt
... [
2004-03-29 01:11:20]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Untitled
(User Rating: 1 )
by poetrygodslove on
Monday, 29th March 2004 @ 01:15:11 AM AEST
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| jeff, great write. your frozen now cause she is gone . one you wont never ask back. so where do you go ? sandy |
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Re: Untitled
(User Rating: 1 )
by Avis_Nigra on
Monday, 29th March 2004 @ 02:08:40 AM AEST
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a Message)
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I love your choice of words very much.
"My life won't leave me be
as the silence escalates."
- this is simply marvelous. It gives me inspiration.
Thank you
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Re: Untitled
(User Rating: 1 )
by AnGeL_M on
Monday, 29th March 2004 @ 02:24:54 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Great Write ...Excellent Choice Of Words Jeff..
Loved It....Keep Up The Marvelous Work....
Thanks For Your Comments On My Writing....
{{{{{{ Hugs }}}}}}
,,,,,,,,,,,,LoVe,,,,AnGeL,,,,,,,,,,,,, |
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Re: Untitled
(User Rating: 1 )
by STRaNGe_LiNDSeY on
Monday, 29th March 2004 @ 03:52:12 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| quite the write mr cobalt... two thumbs up ;) |
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Re: Untitled
(User Rating: 1 )
by MoonlitAngel on
Monday, 29th March 2004 @ 04:42:00 AM AEST
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"No one left to ask where I've gone
when my world comes crashing down."
- that part totally jumped out at me. Great write, different style than usual. I kinda wish it were longer. :)
~ Moonlit |
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Re: Untitled
(User Rating: 1 )
by Necromant on
Monday, 29th March 2004 @ 06:03:57 AM AEST
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Really sad poem, very well expressed! Great write!
Anne :D |
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Re: Untitled
(User Rating: 1 )
by Kie on
Monday, 29th March 2004 @ 12:16:22 PM AEST
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| I am not sure I understand this poem. Of course I would have been one of those people you cut off because I would have thought what you stated in your authors notes. Anyway, I thought it was beautifully written and very deep with penned emotional thoughts. Well done... Kie |
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Re: Untitled
(User Rating: 1 )
by ShadowDaughter on
Monday, 29th March 2004 @ 02:00:02 PM AEST
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Interesting . . . yeah, rather different style. But i think I like it. Nice imagery, it lends a certain vividness, or whatever it's called, to this. Well done, overall.
--Nora |
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Re: Untitled
(User Rating: 1 )
by arden on
Tuesday, 30th March 2004 @ 08:50:08 PM AEST
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a Message)
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really sad and very deep. i really like this. different writeing style but still very awesome.
Arden |
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