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Father Rather
Contributed by
sheri
on
Friday, 26th March 2004 @ 09:21:12 PM in AEST
Topic:
Grief
|
Father rather
often wishes that I had never ran
away from the family
just to be devilsih and contrite,
daughter schmater,
my father can't remember my age,
I wonder if the tumor has deleted two years
of my life from his memory,
then I recall that he never got my age right,
Father rather
that I never let that boy with his charmed tongue into my life or pants for heavens sake,
but the two of us did make a beautiful sight,
daughter,slaughter
my father can't come to see me alone
because he can't remember how to get home
then I wonder with paranoid cold flashes
if soon he will only remember the way we'd fight,
Father rather
not go to his appointments for chemo injections
he does it for her and his childish demons,
it's hard to say which one of them has more might,
daughter rather
speak to the land then listen to death's whine
as it chokes the cells of my father's frontal lobes
while my brother cries
silent tears born of fright,
rather Father
not let go, he wages bloody war against death
I am exsperated from explaining that it's just one more path on his journey
not even this golden truth makes it alright,
Father rather
watch the hours pass by with agonizing fear
then live fully what time graciously serves on a silver platter for him every night,
Father father
doesn't show any joy at seeing my face
only a whince as he mutter under his ragged staunchy breath
seems I am not the only one who is stumbling
on the high steps of forgiving and forgetting
I will for now not take that April flight
daughter rather
remember that I stayed to watch my father die
then run like hell to some place where
death and it's rancid breath can't bite.
Copyright ©
sheri
... [
2004-03-26 21:21:12]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Father Rather
(User Rating: 1 )
by Justalady on
Friday, 26th March 2004 @ 09:42:28 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| Therapy in the words of this writing is sure to come. A sad time and my tears cannot help but flow as I read this. My words seem to fail me. |
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Re: Father Rather
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 27th March 2004 @ 12:56:13 AM AEST
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a Message)
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I am so sorry you are having to go through this. I remember the same feelings when I was caring for my favorite aunt who suffered from the same disease. I still grieve when I think of the misery she went through before death and the mixed emotions that wracked me. I can only say to you that my sympathy and understanding are with you. Stay strong.
Rita |
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