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Fire Spreads
Contributed by
oxide67
on
Monday, 22nd March 2004 @ 05:43:44 PM in AEST
Topic:
Lifepoems
|
Fire is always ready to spread,
The flames they are orange and red,
The fire will get you eventually,
It gets everybody.
Be careful it’s always ready to attack,
It will get you when you turn your back,
It starts in the pan,
Spreads to anything it can,
Its goes upstairs,
Burns the carpet hairs,
Soon the whole house is on fire.
You wake up and smell the smoke,
Suddenly you start to choke,
You start to panic,
You don’t know what to do,
You run out the house screaming somebody help.
The fire brigade put out the fire,
You are left with nothing but a burnt down house
Copyright ©
oxide67
... [
2004-03-22 17:43:44]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Fire Spreads
(User Rating: 1 )
by Levi on
Monday, 22nd March 2004 @ 05:55:58 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| Is this symbolic? Did something happen? Or did you just concentrate on something and write? This is good I like it. As for being only 12. I'm 19 and still don't get poetry at all. Just keep up the good work and you'll do fine. |
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Re: Fire Spreads
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 22nd March 2004 @ 08:38:13 PM AEST
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I wish I took up poetry at 12 - I'd be vastly superior to the standard i'm at now - anyway . . . your poem? It has good rhyming vocabulary, and for someone of your age, it's quite impressive.
Where you don't rhyme, you include vivid imagery and personalise your poem to the reader, which is always a good trick if you want to hold their attention without fancy wordplay.
The final image is quite stark, and it leaves a deadening, burned-out impression in my mind. This is also very good, and it helps that most people, as I, have a healthy fear of being burned alive . . . *grins*
Overall, well executed. Keep writing. |
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Re: Fire Spreads
(User Rating: 1 )
by face-in-the-crowd on
Friday, 9th April 2004 @ 03:07:51 PM AEST
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| Great poem! It's better than I think I could do, but I'm not a ton older than you....I'm 13 years old. Very descriptive, I like it! |
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