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Read between the lines
Contributed by
luckycharm
on
Sunday, 21st March 2004 @ 10:52:09 AM in AEST
Topic:
AngryPoetry
|
You try to say things,
To hurt me on the inside,
You wan't things your way
And so you try to hide,
Words that u think will hurt me,
And u believe no one will console me
You got a certain look,
On your face,
That makes u be hooked
On your case,
Even though u try to defeat,
You still will never win
You think u smart,
And so mature,
You can't play no part
Of a fool's fool,
But in the end,
You gonna sin
Why do u try to hurt me again,
You can't pretend,
It's like u can't recieve
What u should believe,
So u need to take some time,
And read between the lines
Copyright ©
luckycharm
... [
2004-03-21 10:52:09]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Read between the lines
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jackee_line on
Sunday, 21st March 2004 @ 10:59:04 AM AEST
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a Message)
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I think it's a good poem, and it started out fine, but then I think in my opinion , you got lazy and started to use shortcuts. This takes away from a wonderful piece.
Please do not take this wrong, you have talent, i just wished you didn't use shortcuts.
My opinion only, take it or leave it. |
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Re: Read between the lines
(User Rating: 1 )
by silent on
Sunday, 21st March 2004 @ 11:46:07 AM AEST
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| Nice write, seems that the simple structure and rhyming don't flow to the degree they could. Don't get me wrong i like it, just my point of view.... |
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Re: Read between the lines
(User Rating: 1 )
by New_York_Chick on
Sunday, 21st March 2004 @ 12:25:46 PM AEST
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a Message)
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i like the way you express your feelings
great poem |
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Re: Read between the lines
(User Rating: 1 )
by ThePumpkinKing on
Sunday, 21st March 2004 @ 02:54:13 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| i agree with all the above comments...i like this a lot though, good job =) |
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Re: Read between the lines
(User Rating: 1 )
by PoetryLover72 on
Sunday, 21st March 2004 @ 10:08:04 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Um yeah, it's a good poem but I must agree with the rest. Not trying to put it in a bad way, but yeah. |
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